I'm dreaming of a geeky christmas

The other day I was watching the Justice League Unlimited episode "Kid's Stuff" if you haven't seen it I highly recommend giving it a watch. Anyways, while I was watching it I started thinking about how awesome it would be if they made a Justice League Kids cartoon akin to the Tiny Titans comics but starring the big seven of the Justice League. This could be such a great series. You've got a boy scout in Superboy, a kid with serious ADD in The Flash, the overly serious Batman (Batboy?) the bossy and powerful Wonder Girl, a geek Green Lantern and weird little J'onn J'onnz and the buttmonkey Aquaman (Aquaboy?). You could even have most of the plots being how the Legion of Doom is trying to control the neighborhood or bust up the Justice League's lemonade stand. Hilarity ensues.

Hopefully this won't be the last post of the year

Once again, I feel the need to apologize to the loyal few of you out there whom read my blog. I have been woefully neglectful of you these several months. Hopeful if god(s)'s willing. I will be posting on here regularly after the new year. I may have done a similar post to this on in the past. But, I feel it is time again to do a list of the Justice League I would have if I was writing the book. As some of you who have followed this blog for awhile may remember (or may not due to my sporadic posting) I am a big fan of lists. I enjoy creating reading them pairing them down. In short I am a big fan of lists and if no further delay here is my JLA team.

Superman - Even though I'm not a huge fan of Supes, in my mind there is no better leader in the DCU then the big blue boy scout.

Batman - He's Batman, he has a plan for everything. Hell, he's even got a badass singing voice (anyone remember way back when I posted that vid of him singing "Am I Blue"?)

Guy Gardner - Every JLA team needs a Green Lantern and since he's my favorite emerald guarding, he's on the team (ah the fun of nepotism).

Booster Gold - I really enjoyed his time with Bats and Guy back in the Justice League International books. As well as enjoying his current solo title and if nothing else he adds some good comic relief. Plus I kinda like the idea that with this team Kal-El could be a good role model for the goldster and help him become a true hero (in any time stream).

Stargirl - After all these years of having her being on the JSA roster and the superhero game become a bit old hat for her. I think it would be fun to move Courtney up to the majors with a spot on the League. Plus she could fill the Jubilee role on the team :)

Zatanna - I'm a big fan of Zatanna (as well as her costume,lol). Because of this and the fact that on a team like this you need someone who is able to handle the magic wielding foes the league occasionally goes up against she is a good person to have on the team (as long as she promises not to mind wipe her colleagues that is,lol)

Oracle - For while there she was the eyes and ears of Gotham City and I feel that her skills and computer suave would be ideal for use on the watchtower (yeah, in my book the watch tower also makes a comeback).

Wildcat - He's already taught most of these folks to fight anyways. Why not have the old, tough as nails hard fighting, hard drinking sonabitch that is Ted Grant on the team. Plus, it would be fun doing stories where he bitchslaps Lex Luthor or Mr. Freeze.

S.T.R.I.P.E. - All I got to say on this one is that he's a badass Mecha. He's on the team and if nothing else it would be fun seeing him and Stargirl interacting with the rest of the League as he tries to protect her and carry out his role as her step dad. While sitting next to Bats, Guy and, Booster.

So, there you have it my Justice League. Feel free to mock me for my choices. But, I think this team would really make for a fun and enjoyable book. i could even foresee Guy and Courtney becoming partners in crime not literally, but in getting some of the other teammates to loosen up (I'm looking at you Batman).

Something New

Every once in a while a ponder why I like the things I like. For instance in music I've come to the conclusion that the most important things in the equating of whether or not I like a song are how good the baselines are and how the beat moves me. A couple days a go I was pondering this question about the comics I read as well. I think the reason I get on these tracks of thought are because my tastes are fairly eclectic. So, I was thinking about what the common themes were in the comics I read and the answer I came up with were mainly fun, adventure, with a good soap opera in place. Which is probably the reason why lately I've been really enjoying reading the old issues of Bat Lash and The Spirit.

Wow! Two posts in one month?!?!

So, lately I've been reading the Showcase collections of The Unknown Soldier and Bat Lash and while reading them I started thinking about how awesome an Unknown Soldier movie would be. This Would make such a dope WWII movie. It has everything, a protagonist whom disguises himself to look like who ever he needs to be, Nazi punching, the pathos of a man who lost his face in battle. This could be the best WWII movie ever.



Seriously, just the tagline of "The right man in the right place can change the outcome." Put that on the movie poster with a darkened silhouette of the Unknown Soldiers bandaged up face and it would be just like printing money. Looking at Bat Lash however, I think his adventures would work better on television, despite it being a western I actually think a Bat Lash TV show would do really well, especially on USA. That channel would be perfect of the gentleman rogue whom trouble finds whenever he walks into a new town set up the series long story of him looking to exact revenge on the guys who killed his family and a girl and town of the week and you get ratings gold!



Well, those are me thoughts on a couple ideas for TV and movies.

Meet the new director of S.H.E.I.L.D.

With Nick Fury M.I.A. (again) and Disney aquirring Marvel. I now present you with the new S.H.E.I.L.D. Director...

Kim Possible

Buddy Cop Meme

So, checking out Fraggmented yesterday, I saw the meme John Seavey was trying to start and I thought it would be fun to do. Plus, I felt I needed to post something here since, I've been negliclecting the two readers I have on here by not posting anything in nearly two months (E-gads!).So, here we go:

She is the daughter of disgraced former Vice President Aaron Burr and He is a time displaced S-Mart Clerk. This Summer Theodosia Burr and Ash Williams have only 48 hours to find the necronomicon before the world is destroyed. Can they save the world in time? This Summer... Bruce Campbell and Megan Fox, star in Burr Notice.

Scott Free

For those of you whom have read this blog before, you've probably noticed my affinity for Mr. Miracle. At first glance these a lot of superficial reason to dig Scott Free as a character. I mean how could you not enjoy someone with the tag line of "The Super Escape Artist." Much to Stan Lee's chagrin that is probably the most awesome set of words to every be strung together. Besides that he has the most garishly awesome costume to every grace a comic book page. But, digging a bit deeper beneath the surface and Mr.Miracle becomes the definition of pure brilliance. From the way Mr.Kirby set up his origins with his links to the High Father and Darksiad. To his set up of the relationship between Scott and Barda. In my opinion the Mr.Miracle books were Mssr. Kirby's magnum opus. I think the reason Scott Free hits such a cord with me is because, I really like the idea of being able to escape from any confines or situation no matter how deadly. There's something that really appeals to me in the concept of the world's greatest escape artist. I know I have been in many situations through out my life where I wish I could find a way to escape through a hidden passage or by using a lock pick, or just running away. I think (for me at least) that is the main reason I dig Mr. Miracle so much. He is never confined against his will (at least,not for long) and he can find a way out of any dangerous situation without having to punch his way out. He can simply look at the elements of whatever is keeping him trapped reach into his bag of tricks, or just use his mother box and he's free. Also like how the writers have always shown him and Barda as a loving couple that likes to fight crime and world threats more of a hobby than most other superheroes. That and they make such an awesome couple its hard not to root for them against the force of Apokolips.

A new post??? Finally!!!

So, I haven't been able to blog as much as I was hoping I would be when I decided to stop posting Monday thru Friday. Things have just been crazy lately and I haven't had much time to pontificate on comic book stuff. Last night though, while I was laying in bed about to pass out out I had I thought I just had to share with my faithful readers (all two of you,lol). Getting on with it. I'm thought was this. I think Wildcat (Ted Grant) would be a natural character for Warner Bros. to make a movie about. Whit his history as a boxer turned superhero. I think he would be a hero that would transition quite nicely to film. Best of all you could do the movie as the story of a depression style hero or as a modern day hero that's a bit past his prime but, still able to beat the snot out of the criminals he runs into. In my opinion either of these stories would work nicely on film. Even his costume would transition nicely onto film since he basically just wears a cat costume, that looks like you could by it at a costume shop. Well, there you go that's the thought I just had to share with you my adoring public (lol).

100 posts where does the time go?

I have now done 100 posts here on Monkey Knife Fight and though I'm still enjoying it and I plan to keep it running. I am going to be cutting back on my postings. I just have to much stuff going on in life right now and I'm getting ready for my last term of school. So, from now on I'm only going to be posting when the mood strikes me and I think up something real clever. On the plus side this means no more place holders when I can't think of anything to put up on here. Ironicly, I didn't intend for this to be my 100th post. It just worked out that way. I've been thinking about doing this for a week or so now and just figured it would be fitting (with the subject matter) to write this up as my last post of the week. Much to my suprise when I logged in today I noticed I was at 99 posts. I hope everyone has enjoyed my rantings and lists and in keeping with that I hope you'll check out the new stuff when it comes out. Although, I'm cuttting down on the quantity of posts, I'm still hope I can do atleast a couple of them every week. That way you readers out there aren't without new Monkey Knife Fight fun for very long. It's been fun blogging on here and I hope to see another 100 posts and hopefully, in making this change they will be of much better quality.

Harley Sings...

Sorry, yet again...I have no post for today...So, here's a video with Harley Quinn singing about the relationship between her and The Joker :)
Enjoy :)

Another Question

Who do you think would win in a fight Uatu, The watcher or Ganthet?
My money's on Ganthet, he's pretty powerful for a little blue guy.
Any thoughts?

When I'm done he won't talk to fishes no more

I guess I'm pretty weird and one of the reasons I think this way is because of a thought I had this morning. Do you think Namor: The Submariner ever gets bummed out that general population recognises Aquaman a lot more than the recognise him? I mean think about Namor is the more bad ass of the two Kings of Atlantis, yet outside of the comic book fans nobody really recognises him. Granted, a lot of this has to do with Aqauman being in more media than Namor. What with the Aquaman cartoon, Superfriends and his shots on the JLU, Superman: The Animated Series and, Smallville. Meanwhile, Namor had what a cartoon series in the '60s and then what? I know if I was Namor I'd be sitting on my Atlantian Throne mighty pissed off that this cat who wears orange and green and talks to fish, is getting way more attention than me, even though he's at best half as cool. If I was Namor, I'd be throwing up one loud WTF!?!? At all of Aquaman's media attention.

Batman may have too much time on his hands,lol.

So, today I thought I'd post Batman's responses to this here survey. I hope you find it entertaining :)

What type of day are you having?
My parents died when I was 8. What kind of day do you think I'm having?

Was there anyone who "made your day"?
Selina,handling the pnks on the east side.

Are you liking how you look today?
I always look good

Do you have anyone crushing on you?
Where to begin

Have you ever eaten a bug?
yes

Are you vegeterian?
No

When was the last time you kissed someone?
Selina kissed me last night on a rooftop

Have you ever had something stuck between your teeth, but no one decided to tell you?
No.. i check that shit

Are you a mother or a father?
Both and ocasionally neither

When was your last paycheck?
I don't know Alfred takes care of that stuff

How many pets do you have?
1 dog, 2300 bats

What kind of toothpaste do you use?
Special ultra expensive stuff

Are you closer to being rich or poor?
I'm on of the richest people in the world

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
No, not since I was 8

What was the last gift someone gave you?
The Joker gave me an exploding action figure for christmas

Do you appreciate that person?
No, I loathe him

Are you in love?
No, it would interfer with me mission

Have you ever been in love?
No

Do you even believe in love?
I used to, before my parents died.

How many things are you really thinking about right now?
2,457

Did you talk to anyone you didn't like today?
Yes, criminals

Do you like picnics?
Not since, my parents died when I was 8.

Have you finished school yet?
a few of them

What is/was your worst subject?
None, I'm Batman

Are you American?
Yes

Who are you voting for?
I don't vote since getting burned by Luthor. Tax exemptions for customized planes my ass.

Do you like Bush?
I don't like anything a criminal can hide behind

What kind of mood are you in?
what do you mean by that

Are you waiting for anything?
The night

Are you going to bed after this?
Nope, I've had my 2.3 hours of sleep for the day

Where were you september 11. 2001?
Busting heads

What book are you currently reading?
Spirits & Incantations, The latest on criminalogy and something lame Tim got me.

What song did you last listen to?
Something or other by Prince, or maybe it was Danny Elfman.

What movie is in your DVD player?
um...I'd have to check with Alfred

How many windows are open in your computer?
15

Are you a very stressed out person?
Never

How old is your mom?
She's dead. Thanks for pouring salt in the wound

Has your mom ever been on television or in the paper?
yes, when she and my father were murdered

Do you have a beach house?
Yeah..

Where do you live?
Gotham City

Do you ever watch Bold and the beautiful?
i dont even watch tv.

Do you sometimes watch the news?
I have to as part of the mission

Have you ever seen a UFO?
Yes

Do you believe in aliens?
yes, I've even fought a few of them

Have you ever been to world trade center?
going next week.

What is your favorite magazine?
Capes and Cowls Quarterly

How many times have you gone to a foreign country?
Like... A THOUSAND!

When will you next go on a plane?
who knows, tonight

When did you last go on a plane?
The night before last

Do you watch football sundays?
wtf? no.

What are your thoughts on Disney Channel?
dont know dont care.

Do you like Techno?
no.

Do you like Dr.Phil?
hes one of those people youd like to punch in the face immediately after meeting him im sure.

Do you like Oprah?
She tried to say all of the Joker's problems were caused by his parents and that he just needed to be hugged

Do you ever want to get married?
No. It would ruin the mission

What is your favorite country?
They're all the same

Do you like animals?
BAts

Do you have an ipod?
like 10

Do you watch TV alot?
No

Are you afraid of the dark?
I'm the dark.

Another no post Friday : (

Since, I don't have a post for today. I thought I'd post this video of midget wrestling. Because, I got trashed watching some of it at a bar last night and that's the reason for me having no post :(

I'm a loser

I'm just gonna share with you fine readers today, just how backed up on my comic book reading I have been lately. It's so bad I still have like four or five comics from Free Comic Book Day, I haven't gotten a chance to read yet. In fact most of my pull list for this month is still sitting around gathering dusst. The i did get to read the last issue of Geoff Johns run on JSA. That was an awesome read. I picked up the new issues of X-Factor, GLC and the Oracle mini. I don't know how long it will be until I read the others, but I am going to read GLC before the weekend is over. It's crazy right now life is just getting in the way of my comic reading and because of that it has also been making it hard to come up with stuff for Monkey Knife Fight. i haven't even even been reading many other blogs. The only ones I've really been reading lately are Sallyp's and Siskoid's because their blog's are my herion. So, hopefully life will get back to normal soon and Monkey Knife Fight will be back to the goodiness it's known for. Until, then I guess I can always make fun of Aquaman, since that is always easy to do :)

Star Trek: The OC Generation

So, today I thought I'd sure with my readers my thoughts on the newest Star Trek movie. Now this isn't going to be a full on review, but there will be some spoilers in here. So, if you haven't seen the movie yet. Go and check out the posts I've done making fun of Aquaman. There's quite a few of them, since making fun of Aquaman is pretty much a category here at Monkey Knife Fight. For those of you who have seen the new Star Trek flick or those of you that don't care about spoilers. Let's getting down to business.

One of the major things that bugged me about the film was how Kirk was written. Personally, I thought they made him a bit too angsty (of in my world the only definition of angst James kirk has is as a reason to slap Spock around). I thought the guy who played Kirk was pretty good, though he could have used a bit more swagger. I just think the writers tried a bit too hard to flesh out the character of James T. Kirk. I like the Jim Kirk whose goals in life are to make Wilt Chamberlain look like a dateless wonder and beating up Kilingons (for fun). Honestly, I think all the actors did a bang up job in this movie. My to favorites were the guy who played Dr. McCoy and Simon Pegg. The cat playing Bones had a tough job in order to win me over as I think DeForest Kelley was the coolest of the O.G. cast. Even Shatner looked kind of lame when the episodes focused on McCoy. In short McCoy's been my favorite character since I started watching Trek. Now, I wouldn't call myself a Trekkie or trekker or whatever the new one is, in fact this is the first thing Trek, I've watched in years. But, the guy they got to play Leonard McCoy, I thought was pitch perfect (even if they screwed up the meaning behind his nickname). I think the guy who played him is Karl Urban, I hadn't heard of him before the flick. Though looking him up on imdb it looks like he was in Lord of the Rings (which may be why I hadn't heard of him,lol). As for my favorite actor in the flick, Simon Pegg. I thought he made an awesome Scotty, in fact after this I wouldn't mind if in the next digital remixed episodes they replaced Jimmy Doohan with him (I'm joking of course,but he really did an awesome job). Watching the audience roar with laughter every time he opened his mouth was really something. He did fantastic as a drunk Scotsman who's also a physics genius. Really the only cast member I did think did to well of a job, was Eric Bana as the villain (Nero) and really the only problem I saw in his performance was that he wasn't nearly as ham-fisted as you need to be to be a good Star Trek villain. My only other major critique of the flick was it's length. I'm not very into movies being more than 90 minutes long. the main reason for this rule is that after 90 minutes I start getting impatient for the ending as I don't have a very long attention span (Hey,look, a squirrel) I also liked the whole plot as an explanation for continuity errors thing they did in the movie. I thought it was a clever way of getting around continuity and starting the franchise off from scratch. I don't know if it's a good enough flick to buy or keep. But, I wouldn't mind seeing it again if the opportunity came up. All in all a good way to kill a couple of hours. Before the bars open up.

Life still doesn't like my blog :(

I'm still getting my ass kicked by real life and haven't been able to read comics or think about how could beat how in a fight to destroy the Amalgam Universe. So, instead I thought I'd dust off an old chestnut and share with you some of the funner search terms people have used to find me here at good ol' Monkey Knife Fight.

Deadpool faster than a speeding bullet... Yes, Yes he is :)

Green Lantern Bowling Shirt... I totally want one. So, whoever used that term if you find a GL bowling shirt drop me a line :)

Adam West... I will take the high road and not make a joke at this amazing actor's expense.

harley quinn toples... I can't decide if this is meant to be Harley Quinn topless, or topples. Either why whatever they were looking for sounds pretty entertaining.lol

snowball monkey fight... This may be more entertaining to watch than a monkey knife fight. As long as one of them gets a snowball right in the ear.

How to Fight Fading Theory... That's easy...New Theory

great movie pitches...I agree my Guy Gardner movie pitch was great, great indeed.lol

Awesome movie pitches... Again, I concur :)

jake busey guy gardner... It's like he was genetically engineered to play the part.

Kirk knife fight video... The Shat vs. a monkey... Genius!!! Pure Genius!!!

Well, there you go some of the more entertaining (at least to me,lol) search terms used to find your humble hosts blog. Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow

Nothings shaking but the leaves in the trees

So, not much comic booky things going on, right now and I can't really think of a list to do, I don't even feel like making fun of Aquaman today. You know it's bad when I don't feel like make fun of Aquaman. Anyways, on Saturday, I finally met up with Karl Christian Krumpholz. For those of you not in the know, he was the guy who did the Famous Drunks protraits for Modern Drunkard magizine. I met him at comic fest and I wanted to get a print of the Hank Williams protrait he did, but he didn't have it with him there and I couldn't attend the last day of comic fest. So, we've been send messages back and forth and we finally worked it out and I was able to meet him at 3 Kings and buy the print and it is awesome, Hank Williams was the man.



p.s. I also saw the new Star Trek movie that day. I'll try and write up some of my thoughts on it later this week :)

Life does not like my blog right now : (

In case you can't tell from my posts the last couple of days have been pretty hectic. I'm not going to go into it. Since, this blog is dedicated to my ramblings about comic books and the industry that supports it. So, let's just leave it at that and I promise to pay much more attention to you fine people that read this blog next week :)
Until then, I'm gonna leave you with this video of Peter Griffen as Aqauman's assistant. See you all back here on Monday :)

No post Thursday : (

So, last night I went to Comedy Works here in Denver and drunk to much. Because of that I'm a bit to hungover to post today :)

You make me feel like spring had sprung

I couldn't really think of anything to post today.So, I thought I'd do another one of my patented lists. Just to be different I thought for this list I'd be different and instead of doing the usual type of lists. I'd make this one about the gals in comics that I have (or had) a crush on through out the years. So, without to much more of an introduction here are the top 5 (fictional) comic girls I crush on :)

Jubilee - If you've been here before, you should already know about my mad Jubilee love. If your new to Monkey Knife Fight. One of the things you should know is I love Jubilation Lee. I have since, the first time a saw her in a comic (The X-Men's Atlantis Attacks Annual). I could go on and on about how much I adore this character. How many gals do you know could appoint themselves Wolverine's sidekick and get him to go along with the program. Really, (to me atleast)it felt more like he was her sidekick most of the time.

Wolfsbane - She's so vulernable and adorable, I just want to wrap my arms around her. She was my favorite New Mutant back in the day, but what really got my crushing hard on her was the way PAD wrote her in the current X-Factor books.

Lady Blackhawk - Ah, Zinda, Zinda, Zinda. What's not to love about Ms. Zinda Blake? She's tough, she likes to drink, she's sweet and sassy and as a bonus she wears a skirt. I am a big fan of girls that wear skirts and dresses, real girls or fictional. If they wear a lot of skirts I'm gonna fall in love with them :)

Kitty Pryde - I think it's alomost a prerequist that if your into comics at one point or another you're gonna have a crush on Kitty.

Catwoman - How could any red-blood guy not crush on Seline Kyle? Honestly,she is like every generation of Batman fan's crush. Whether it's the purple dress, or Julie Newmar, or Lee Mariweather,Michelle Pfeiffer, the Animated series or Darwyn Cook's artwork. Everyone has a Catwoman they adore :)

So, there you have it. The five comic book gals that really get my motor running. This is either a really neat or really, really sad. I'll let you make the call :)

Happy Cinco de Mayo

Brought to you by BAT-HOMBRE!



Ride Bat-Hombre, Ride!

Free Comic Book Day (Yay!)

I had a really good free comic book day, this year. The funniest part was it was my friend, Kristal who had planned out the day and was super psyched about it (even though she's not into comics). She has young sons and rather than trying to keep comics she would buy for them in decent condition, she takes them to Free Comic Book Day every year and that's their comic book outing. So, with her Husband and kids loaded up in the car. We first went to Mile High Comics, which along with FCBD had a buy one get one free deal going on all of their trades and comics. So, while we were there I picked up the latest issues of Madame Xanadu (since meeting her I've become a big fan of Amy Reeder Hadley), JSA and, The Runaways. I also picked the Showcase collection; Wonder Women vol.1 and The Unknown Soldier vol.1. Then we headed over to I Want More Comics! formerly known as Free Time Comics. Which was even cooler as they had Armando Durruthy and Stan Yan were there selling prints and doing drawings and all that. Which was cool and, I said Hi to Armando while I was there still happy with the Guy Gardner drawing he did for me at Comic Fest. AS for the free comics I picked up; I picked Blackest Night #0 (of course)Gold Digger, Contract (which I had been curious about since the rave reviews it got on Fanboy Radio), Atomic Robo and Love & Capes. So, all in all it was a good day for comics all round.

Superman's least heroic moment

offered without comment :)

Another no post day

Today has been utter crap so I'm not posting anything. Instead I'll leave you with this video of Batman singing Am I Blue.

Lazy fish, why don't they answer

I can't think of any posts to day. So, sticking with this weeks theme. Here's a video of the Powerpuff Girls saving Aquaman and Wonder Women from the Legion of Doom (superfriends' villians not wrestlig Tag Team of the same name,lol).

No Sushi For YOU!

I wasn't going to do another Aquaman post today. First of all because,I'm not really a fan (all though I did buy Aquaman Showcase volume 3 today, some maybe that Bob Haney wackiness will change my mind,lol). Second of all I was pretty sure I was all out of things to say about our aquatic friend (not to be confused with our favorite aquatic fiend,lol). but, looking at the popularity of the posts (and my opportunistic nature) I figured what the hell. So, here's another story idea for DC to consider. In this story Aquaman is upset after Japanese fishermen kill his favorite whale and declares war on Japan. He then forms an army of Atlantians and ocean creatures and attacks the tiny island. After the surprise attack the Japanese contact the Justice League hoping that his colleagues can talk Aquaman out of his blood lust for sushi lovers. Superman attempts to talk to Aquaman but, he is beyond reason claiming that Japan was just the first battle after they were defeated he would then move on to other fishing cultures until all those whom consumed his friends are dead. He then yells out "No Red Lobster or Joe's Crab Shack is safe while Arthur Curry lives!" With that Superman goes to Batman, since Batman being Batman has a contingency plan, just in case something like this ever happened. Batman gets on all his bat-scuba gear and hunts down Aquaman. When he finally finds him, Batman ties him up and forces Aquaman to watch as Batman perpares and then cooks up fried calimari for the rest of the Justice League. The story then ends with Aquaman locked up in the back of a JOe's Crab Shack.

But, you're my sidekick

Since, I can't really think of anything to post today. I'm going to slight backtrack on my efforts not to make fun of Aquaman. I do this because,I thought it would be fun to share with you a Marvel/DC crossover event that if it took place would amuse me quite a bit. In this crossover Namor, the Sub-Mariner and Aquaman would be in a battle to decide who the "real" king of Atlantis was and one of the first things I do in this crossover would be to have Aqualad defect and join up as Namor's sidekick. Of course, hilarity would in sue as Namor tried to ditch Aqualad, and Aquaman mourns the loss of the relationship between him and Aqualad. Which would demend Aquaman saying at least once "Why did you have to leave me, tadpole." as he sheds a few tears and drinks gin and tonics (ala Aquaman's Lament). Although, I'm sure this crossover would anger a few people. I think this would be just the sort of thing that would make comics mainstream again (of course,I could just be saying that as part of my shameless self promotion,lol). So, there you go jay's big Marvel/DC crossover idea "Battle 4 Atlantis".

Don't worry, aquaman. We'll take care of this one

So, in my attept to stop teasing Aquaman. I was thinking about how unfairly the Jutice League occasional treats him. I mean most of these guys (including Superman) only have one city to protect on their own and team up when there is a larger threat. Meanwhile, there's poor Aquaman prtecting all of the oceans, 70% of the Earth. All by himself, never asking for help and on top of this the Justice League treats him like a chump. WTF? Here's Aquaman protecting all the oceans and these cats that at most protect a State treat him like he's the hall monitor at the special kids school. That's just messed up.

A truly herculean task is at hand

A little while ago, I posted on here that I was gonna lay off when it comes to making fun of Aquaman. For the most part I've been sticking to it. I have even been going out of my way to find cool things about Aquaman (well, besides Aquaman's Lament, that song rox!). So,I've been navigating the internets looking for cool stuff on Aquaman and I really haven't been able to find much (other than on siskoid's page, but most of that's his own creative style of using Arthur Curry). Any ways, I'm snooping around looking for stuff that will make me apperciate the character more (I even downloaded episodes of his cartoon,lol) and all of it just seems to give me more ammunition to mock the poor guy. I've really been trying to be nice, but everything I find on ol' harpoon hand. Just make me want to tease him even more. So, against my better judgement this weekend I'm going to attept to buy some Aquaman comics and read them with as little snickering as possible. Which for me will be quite a task in and of its self. So, my main plans this weekend (if any of my stalkers are reading this) is to get some Aquaman comics,read them and watch his cartoon and try my damnedest not to mock him as I perform these tasks.

This looks like a job for a Superheroine

Yesterday, I was thinking about the last couple of issues of JSA, when it dawned on me that something has been missing... Then I realised that thing it had been missing was it's under use of Stargirl. Now granted she has been shown prominently, however she really hasn't been the guiding force she usually is, I don't really blame any of the writers. After all in a team book you have to rotate how you choose ot focus on. Thinking about this got me on to thinking about the Super heroines I dig and what that might mean about my Psyche. Which got me thinking about what I should post and I figured it was time for one of my ever popular lists. So, here as it stands today, are the Super heroines I think are the coolest (and maybe a little insight into what this says about my taste in girls,lol).
And as always these are not listed in any sort of order (other than popping into my head in that order,lol).

Since, I already mentioned her. I'm going to start this list with Stargirl AKA Courtney Whitmore. I thin she is awesome for many of the same reasons I like Jubilee. They both have bubbly, outgoing personalities. Which I could be digging on just on the basis that as a LEO bubbly,outgoing girls are pretty attractive to me. Beyond that I really dig that she has gone from a junior member to a leadership role in the JSA in just a few short years. That is pretty awesome.
I guess that brings us to Jubilee. Ah, Ms. Jubilation Lee. How can you not love this firecracker (no, pun intended). The saddest thing about me love of Jubilee is how when I first became a fan of her she was a few years older than me and now she's roughly 10 years younger than me. From the first time I read about her (the X-Men's Atlantis Attacks Annual)to her staring role in the cartoon and even her cameos in the X-Men movies. Right on,I'm quite pissed about Joey Q's treatment of her from House of M up until and including her return in the New Warriors.
Speaking of Warriors. I could not do a post like this without mentioning the greatest warrior to ever escape Apokolips. That's right I'm talking about Barda Free...Big Barda herself.How can you not love Barda, she's a tough girl with a big loud personality. She is no shrinking violet that's for sure. She can be bombastic or sweet. She's loyal and kind.
Next I think I'll have to mention Zinda before it slips my mind. I'm not going to go to deep into the awesomeness that is Lady Blackhawk. Since, I did a whole post on that not too long ago. I'll just say this... She likes guns,booze and, fighting what's not to love.
I gues that this point I should probably mention my second favorite X-girl. Rogue, what's not to love about a southern belle that can punch through a brick wall. My favorite protrayal Rogue was when she had stolen Ms. Marvel's powers. She's tough as nails yet sensitive and longing to be touched without the consequences of killing another person. Plus she has that southern drawl (and accents are HAWT!).
Moving we come to Soranik Natu Doctor and Green Lantern pulled between her duties and her homeworld. She since her first appearence in the Green Lantern Corps. I have loved the way the writers have protrayed her. She is just plain awesome.
Last but not least is Molly Hayes from the Runaways. She's just so darn cute. Even when she is punching through walls. In a lot of ways she reminds me of my siblings and the daughters of my friends and family.

Well, I could go on and on about the Superheroines I love but I feel this is a good stopping point for now and I'm sure I'll be coming back to this subject in the future. But for now here's the list I'm going with

Economic of a superhero universe

Lately, I've been kind of wondering what jobs there would be in the Marvel or DC universes for normal people and what jobs in the real world would be made unnessecary by having superhumans existing in the world. For instance,In a world where Quicksilver or the Flash live do you really need a Post Office? Couldn't either of them do that as a part time job? going off on a bit of a tangent why didn't any of the Flashes or Kid Flashes or for that matter Quicksilver ever start a delivery company. Seriously, how would UPS or FEDex or any other company compete with under 60 seconds or your next deliver is free. For that matter how would people like Richard Dawkins sell any books, would he have to start writing about some other subject? After all how do you write about God not existing if not only God exists but, so does every God from every mythology does,as well. Maybe he would just write books about what assh**es the gods are. Further more with people like Reed Richards or Mr Terrific wondering around the place would you really the power companies or any of the fuel and energy industries? Well, these are just some of the things rattling around in my empty head,lol.

Comic Fest 2009

So, last weekend was Comic Fest here in Denver. I went Friday and Saturday, I would have loved to attend on Sunday as well. But,a previous engagement kept me from going.My friend Carl's welcome back, which had it not been for seeing a bunch of old school friends and eating BBQ and drink moderately priced beer. I totally, would have gone to the last day. Anyways, back to the fest. It was quite fun I got an awesome Guy Gardner sketch from Armando Durruthy and I got a sign and sketch copy of Fool's Gold from Amy Reeder Hadley. Both of them are super nice folks and I hope that get much attention in the world of comic books.Right now, I'm still waiting to get in touch with Karl Christian to get a print of his drawing of Hank Williams from the his Famous Drunks line he did for Modern Drunkard (magazine). Hopefully, I get that print soon. 'cuz I'm a huge Hank Williams (senior) fan. Another thing I did while I was there was to have Mike Baron (Nexus, The Badger) check out and critique some of my stories. He gave me some really helpful advice and a couple helpful hints to get editors to check my stuff out and even told me I'm pretty good at coming up with neat ideas for comic books. So, hopefully I'll improve in the next year I'll be blowing some minds with my awesome comic book writing skillz. LOL

Woo-Hoo! Party like it's...comic fest 2009

So, here in Denver tonight. Comic Fest is starting and going until sunday. I haven't really gotten the chance to go to one of these before. So, I'm really looking forward to it. Of course, I'm also pretty busy getting ready for it. I have some stuff I want to get a little publicity for like Monkey Knife Fight and, I have some story ideas I'm trying to get seen by the right people (and by right people I mean folks who'll pay me.lol). So, it's pretty hectic today for this little One Letter Wonder. I'm sure on monday, I'll share with you what all went down and the fun that was had and all that neat stuff. But, for now just enjoy a little fun with Foamy the squirrel and I'll see you all next week :)

Thursday slump

Not much to write about today. I'm pretty busy getting ready for Comic Fest here in Denver. It starts tomorrow evening and I've got a bunch stuff to do to prepare for it. It should be real fun (as opposed to that lousy fake fun). I'll write more about it either tomorrow or next week. So,talk to you tomorrow and enjoy yet another awesomely bad Aquaman cartoon XD

What the hay...after all he is a farmer from Kansas

Well, since I really can't think of anything better to write today (even though,I'm feeling a lot better than the last couple of days,lol). I figured I'd do another post on Superman, today. So, for this post I thought I'd go into the characteristics that make Superman compelling to me. The first one being that he knows what is right and what is wrong there may be some conflict on how he gets there, but there is no conflict in whether he is on the side of angels. Next is the fact that he is an optimist. No matter how dark things get or how futile everything seems Kal-El sees the silver lining and knows that as long as there is a will there is a way. He has a working class work ethic. To Kal-El there is nothing that hard work can't overcome in order to achieve the right results. He is a Hero and his mission on Earth is to be a symbol of hope. As long as you follow these guidelines, I feel your Superman project will be successful. I also feel this was the reason Superman Returns was an utter failure (which it was). You can't humanize a god and you shouldn't give Superman flaws, especially by making him a dead beat dad and a stalker. Because, of this movie I realized Brian Singer wasn't the great film maker I had thought he was.

Faster then a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive...

Even though, I'm still not feeling to well. I decided to write about the awesomeness that is the Fleischer Superman cartoons. I first discovered these cartoons in High School. Back then the local PBS station (channel 12, for those in the 303). WOuld play these short late at night when they needed to fill fifteen minutes of air time.
To me these cartoons are the difinitive take on Superman. Bruce Timm's series comes the closest out of all the other stuff to being as good of a take on Supes as the Fleisher cartoons. For me one of the things that the movies (especially) seem to miss is Clark Kent winking at the camera. At the end of almost every one of the Fleischer cartoons when someone makes a remark about Superman saving the day and Clark Kent would comment on it and then wink at the camera. Of course, the other thing I really enjoyed about this series was how he would complain about Lois Lane scoping him on yet another story. Clark Kent just never seemed to be able to get that front page story about Superman.If you haven't seen these cartoons I highly recommand you do so post haste. After that I think you'll feel the same way.

Up in the sky...It's a bird...It's a plane...

I'm feeling pretty sick today. So, I'm gonna keep the post for today pretty light. I was going to talk about the awesomeness of the old Fleischer Superman cartoons. But, since, I don't have the energy or brain power today. I'm just putting up a clip of it instead. I may blog about tomorrow if I'm feeling better.

Villians week: Mr. Gone

Well, as we wrap up villains week here at Monkey Knife Fight. I thought I'd close the week with my favorite non DC or Marvel villain. So, today we'll be talking about...

Mr. Gone


Mr. Gone was the main villain in the comic from Image called The Maxx (as well as the MTV series). The coolest thing about this character is his control over the Isz. The Isz are weird little creatures that if they wear a certain type of clothing they will apear to the outside world to resemble the type of person that would wear that sort of thing. One of my favorite things in The Maxx is where the Isz are dressed up like old ladies and fighting The Maxx at a conveinence store and the people watching the fight think that the Maxx is fighting a group of old ladies. Of course, the reason Mr. Gone makes the list is because if not for him I would not view serial killers as the pathetic losers that they really are, every since I got into The Maxx. Whenever I here about someone like that BTK loser, I imagine them as being just as impotent and pathetic as Mr. Gone was when he had Julie tied up in his apartment.
So, there you have it. I hope you've enjoyed villains week as much as I have and I hope everyone has a good weekend and a Happy Easter. See you again on Monday

Villians week: Darkseid

Well, now that villain;s week is getting close to the end here at Monkey Knife Fight. I thought i would talk about the villain that probably has given Superman and and the rest of the DCU the most problems. A villain so awesome only Jack Kirby himself could have created him...That's right...I'm talking about...

Darkseid


Seriously, of all the villains from either Marvel or DC comics Darkseid is my favorite. From terrorizing Mr. Miracle and the New Gods to become one of Superman's most terrifying foes. Darkseid is just plain awesome. Either, because of or in spite of the fact that he is fated to fail in his life's goal of making everyone in the universe bow to his might.As he quest to uncover the Anti-Life Equation and destroy the New Gods. He is both terrifying and comical in his verbose mannerisms.The in the
DC universe there is one villain as deadly, scary or, evil as... Darkseid.

Villains Week: Mr. Sinister

It's hump day, which means we're 3/5 through with villains week here at Monkey Knife Fight. And today we've got a really special villain...

Mr. Sinister



That's right my favorite X-Men villain isn't the moral ambigous Magneto. It's Dr. Nathaniel Essex. First off he has a great look.It's also interesting his obsession with Cyclops and his brood and how long he has been watching the Summers clan and directing the actions. Then there's all the manipulations he's done on Apocaplyse's be half and how he manipulated Gambit. But, most of the reason I like Mr. Sinister is (a) he has a really cool name and (b) He looks really cool. The Diamond shaped gem in his forehead is quite sharp, as a fashion statement.

Villains Week: Dr. Doom

Continuing with this weeks theme of awesome villains. I thought today I would talk about my favorite marvel villain...

Dr. Victor Von Doom



That's right Dr.Doom. Right off the bat his has one of the coolest names ever and honestly with the surname of Von Doom did he really have a choice in whether to become a bad guy,I think not. He also has such an awesome character George Lucas had to steal his costume design in order to make Darth Vader the baddest m*****f****r in the galaxy. Of course, he started out as the Fantastic Four's chief villain. Since, then though he has become a pain in the neck for pretty much all of the heroes in the Marvel universe. My favorites stories with him are him fighting Spider-man and the X-Men rather than the FF. Though, I also enjoy his hatred of Dr. Richards (whom he blames for everything including bad weather and the Mets losing). Doom is just plain awesome. From the intonation his given in the books to his misanthropic nature. best of all the guy is a king (which gives him diplomatic immunity, here in the states). He's a sorcerer and a scientist and most of all he is... DOOM!

Villians week: The Joker

Since, I can't think of anything else for this week. I'm gonna spend this week looking at my 5 favorite villains in comic books. Now, just to be clear this won't be a ranking of these five villains. It's just the ones I really dig, in no particular order. We begin with...

The Joker



What's not to love about the clown prince of crime. He is chaos incarnate, as Denny O'Neil has said on many occasions, The Joker is just as likely to kill you because he doesn't like your shoes as he is to give you $1,000 because he doesn't like your shoes. For the Joker all the rules and laws society has created are just one big joke on the poor saps that buy in to them. For me the best none comic interpretation of this character is Mark Hamill's portrayal of The Joker in Batman: TAS. As, good as Heath Ledger was as The Joker in The Dark Knight. I still hear Mark Hamill's voice when I read a comic with The Joker in it. He is the villain that all the other villains hate. Especially, villains like Darkseid and Lex Luthor. He isn't in it for the money or for power. He's in it for the shear fun of it (in his own deranged way). He has no moral compass or shame or sense of desencey. All he wants out of life is to kill Batman, a few Robins and maybe make a couple bucks along the way. which is the reason why he is such a fun villain. I think he's actually a bit funner when he takes on other heroes in the DCU rather than Batman, especially heroes like Superman.

Who puts Filing taxes in a video game

Today, I was watching X-Play and it got me think about how terrible the Superman video games have been. It also got me wondering, is there any way to make a good Superman game? Out of all the Super Hero games I've played none have been as horrible as the games starring Superman. I even remember (though this may not have been real) there being an Aquaman game and it being better than that Timm inspired video game. Now granted I believe that game has been ranked the worst game in the history of video games. Still, when Aquaman has a better game than you that's bad. Is there something about Superman that just inspires bad video games? I mean seriously, between that game and the Superman Returns game. They're practically unplayable. You would think that with his powers and villains, You could make a pretty kick ass game. But, so far the evidence says no. Personally, I would think the only power that would suck trying to put in a game would be his invulernability. Other than that you think it would be a cake walk using him as the main character. The other puzzling thing is how the games with him a supporting cast member usually do a good job with his powers and stuff.

This looks like a job for...Aquaman?

Lately, I've started to think that maybe in my love of Aquaman bashing I have been to hard on the character of Authur Curry. Maybe, it's because I'm starting to mellow in my old age, or maybe it's because you can only kick a dead horse so many times before it is no longer fun. Maybe, some day I'll see the awesomeness of the King of Atlantis(DCU). After all the poor guy does have to patrol 70% or more of the planet without any assistance. So, one of these days I'll at least attempt to not mock Aquaman. Unfortunately, That day is not to day and in honor of the Beginning of April,I thought it was high time I had some fun at ol' harpoon hand's expense. So, today I'm going to talk about the endless fun the Justice League has mocking him. Of course, the cruelest of these gags and jokes and whatnot, is when they make him clean the JLA pool. Even worse, is when they make him clean it after one of Booster's pool parties. EWWWW! The next is how they are always inviting him to go out to dinner with them (at Red Lobster)Even when he offers to take them to Chilli's and pick up the tab. Another way the JLA are jerkasses to him is how WW, Bats and, GA will wait until the see him walking up to decide to start talking about their planes and how fast they are the awesomeness of flying jets everywhere. Even J'onn J'onnz teases him. every week he's like I'm sorry but we don't need you on this mission. Poor Authur Curry gets no respect from his team mates. which is probably why he stays in the ocean most of the time and always gives Green Arrow the stink eye. Well, that and even Atlantians hate that Pinko Bastard,lol.

Breaking News

I was reading CBR today and they had an anouncement Dan DiDio released a statement today about the future of DC comics. Appearently, in the fall they are going to begin a new crossover involving the entire DCU. In this series (the series to change everything forever,ever,ever).In this series the basic premise will be that the Titans have decide they have had enough of being stuck between the Major Team (JLA) and the Minor (no pun intended) Team (Teen Titans) and that they deserve to join the JLA. During this the yet to be known(by us) villian will take advantage of the situation brewing between the Titans and the Justice League. In order to bring his plan to fruition and destroy the DCU. Which he will do and then for the next two years the only characters DC will be publishing will be the Fawcett and Charletton characters. So, each person in the Marvel family will have their own book plus a Marvel Family book.Captian Atom and Ted Kord will have their own books along with The Question and Mr.A. Somehow during this story line they will Bring back Ted Kord Kord, Dan Garrett and Vic Sage. These resurections will occur right before the DCU is destroyed forever (until further notice). Having heard this news I am quite sad and will be spending the rest of the day being sad about the impending death of all the awesome characters of the DCU. I hope you all can find something positive about all this.I don't know if I can.

Free, Scott Free

You know, I may have said this before. But, I think Mr.Miracle has a great gimmick. He's THE SUPER ESCAPE ARTIST!I just think that is such a cool and unique idea as the main protagonist. He can literally escape anything. It's a great way to keep the threats of each issue from getting to high, while still keeping the excitement up. Each issue your like well, of course he's going to escape from the trap. But, how is he going to escape? I also think that one of the reasons he doesn't do so good in his own book is for this very reason. I sure hope when DC (if they haven't already) bring back Scott Free, they will give him a back story in a book. Because, I think he's the perfect character for a back up story. give him 10 pages to do his thing and escape some insanely elaborate trap and an occasional story about him and Barda trying to have a relaxing Saturday night together and that it. Enough stories for at least 12 installments. Man, that Jack Kirby sure was a genius XD

The Cure to your Calculator Blues

It's snowing again, here in Denver and now I feel a bit silly about spraying all those CFCs into the air for all those years hoping that one day there would be no more snow. Alas, it hasn't worked. Oh well, let's get back to comics. This weekend I read the new Oracle mini series. So, for it doesn't seem to terrible. Though, that opinion may change with the next issue. But, so far it seems interesting. My only major complaint so far, is using Calculator as the main villain. I was pretty much done with him after the last Birds of Prey arc and now he's back *grrr* Other than that it seems pretty intriguing and I'm gonna keep reading it for now. I'm still holding out a little hope that Zinda will make an appearance but, I'm not holding my breath.

Snow Ball Fight!

Here in Denver yesterday, there was a pretty bad snowstorm. I honor of that (and the fact that I can't think of anything to write today,lol). I thought I'd post this comic in honor of the Batman theme we here at Monkey knife Fight, have been doing this week. So, without futher ado... I give you...

The new Bat Titles

Well, it's snow quite feircely out here and I'm being a bit lazy. So, I thought I'd throw in my two cents about the new Bat books coming out in June. From every thing I've seen about that so far the only on that looks interesting enough for me to try out is Batman and Robin. Other than that I think I'm going to drop the ones replces all of the other Bat-family books I was reading. Really the only Bat book (if it can be considered one) that I'm really looking forward to is Oracle's mini-miniseries. Other than that one they all seem knida lame so, it looks like I'm going to free up quite a bit of space in my comic book budget. I guess I can try out some new stuff or whatever. At least they haven't screwed with GLC or Booster otherwise I wouldn't be reading much of the monthly books. I guess that's good. Well, that's all I have to say today. Hopefully the sun comes out so I can go see "I love you,man" tonight. Otherwise it's gonna be a pretty lame night for this one letter wonder.

Batman makes even Adam West a bad ass

So, I can't really blog today. But, I still wanted to keep up the Batman theme. so, here's Batman (as played by Adam West) fighting a shark. Enjoy!

E Pluribus Batman

So,as promised I'm going into the main plot for when Batman is one his own.


Act One

Batman is doing his normal thing beating up the criminals he comees across. Then he starts to see something that is conecting the latest rash of crimes. All the to be honest I think only Batman can see these connections seeing how Gotham City is one of the worst fictional cities, ever.

Act Two

Batman is now certain that these crimes are connected and someone is behind all of this, somewhere in the background pulling all of the strings. So, he goes and beats up his rogues whom are stuck in Arkham Asylum and then goes and beats up the rogues that have escaped/been released looking for answers.

Act Three

He has found out who the puppet master is and is off to F**k His S**T Up.
He does this then villian asks for mercy and Batman cracks off a oneliner and cracks the villian's ribs. He then either tells the villian never to come back to Gotham City or else... or he sends them off for a long vacation up at Arkham. THE END

...and there you have it the majority of stories when Batman is on his own.

Plot Batman (but don't forget the standard deviation)

So, I thought it would be fun to write out the main plot writers have used in Batman for the last 20 years. So, today I thought I'd do the plot to Batman stories involving the Bat-Family and 2moro I'll do the solo Batman plot. So, let's get started.

Act One

Batman has been acting like more of a jerkass than usually and one of his rogue's decides to take adventage of this situation. Which creates the problem that will take the story to it's conclusion.

Act Two

The Bat-Family sees that Batman is in over his head and that he needs their help.
The try to lend him their help and he rebuffs them. So, that help him out without his knowledge.

Act Three

BAtman tells the Bat-Family to mind their one business and stay out of his way. The Bat-Fam tells him he needs their help and he's gonna like it or lump it. So, he grudgingly let's them help.

Act Four

Combining their efforts Batman and the Bat-Fam, capture the villian and restore order and Batman promises he will never treat them as poorly again. THE END

There you have it the plot to every Bat-Family crossover.

Zinda, Zinda, Zinda

Well the internet ate my post for today so, here's a montage of Zinda I found on youtube done to the song "I'm the toughest girl alive" I was going to write more about today until the interwebs ate it. I really hope DC is not going to just throw Zinda into oblivion now that Bird of Prey is no more.



Well, I hope you enjoy this post. Have a good weekend and I'll see you next week :D

BoP! RiP! :*(

Well, the Birds of Prey have broken up (at least for now) and I'm already feeling sad about it. Granted the last issue came out a week or two ago. But, still. I really enjoyed this book since I started reading it a few years ago back when it was just Huntress, Black Canary, and Oracle; yet after the TV show. I read it a few times before then and for whatever reason it just never clicked with me. But, then around '06 I really started to dig it. For me this is when it began firing on all cylinders and once Gail Simone added Ms. Zinda Blake and I was completely hooked (Although, for some reason I called her Zindi for the longest time and I have really no clue why). Then, when they added Barda I was completely over the moon. I'm a big fan of Mrs. Barda Free. My only compliant about the time Barda was on the team is that I think they should have Scott appear more then just in a panel or two. Needlessly to say, I've really enjoyed this comic these last few years and really my only major compliant about the last issue was how Barbara left Charlie (AKA Misfit), For me that just felt off after everything that had happened between the two of them in the last couple of years. Other than that and The Letter. I thought it was a pretty good final issue and I can't wait to see the first issue of Babs' miniseries. I just hope it doesn't suck.

Lady Blackhawk - Hawkah!

Today I thought I'd talk about a character that I didn't really know about until I started reading Birds of Prey and that character is... Ms. Zinda Blake AKA Lady Blackhawk. I love Zinda! And really what's not to love she's a pilot, she likes drinking and fighting and, best of all she wears a skirt. I'm a big fan and proponent of girls wearing skirts. Thanks to Gail Simone and the writers who followed her on the Birds of Prey. She's become one of favorite female characters. One of the things most of them have been able to do (at least how I read the books) is keep that old timey cadence of hers. Whenever I'm reading BoP she sounds (in my head, anyways) like she was plucked from a movie from the 40s. Which just adds to her awesomeness and sexiness. She's tough enough to knock out Spy Smasher without losing her femininity. Zinda is a lady through and through, but at the same time I would not doubt that she could out drink almost anyone in the DCU. Another thing that amuses me is that in my mind she could totally take out Dick and Tim, in her skirt without flashing anything naughty. 'cuz she's just that cool. Plus, I maintain that she and Ted Grant (Wildcat) are drinking buddies that like to talk about the good old days and arm wrestle.

Ultimate Drunk and Rowdy Teams

To celebrate St. Patty's Day. I thought I'd come up with the rowdiest, drinkingest fightingest teams for Marvel and DC. Becuase at the moment I'm digging DC more than Marvel I thought I'd start with their team first.
DC

The Losers:

Guy Gardner - Team Leader. He owns a bar and honestly I don't think there's anyone more rowdy than him.

Zinda Blake/Lady Blackhawk - I love Zinda. There aren't many men in the world that can match her in drinks or in a brawl. She's a two-fisted drinker and slugger with a pair of 9mms just in case things get heavy.

Jonah Hex - the drunken timetraveler. He likes whiskey and fightin' what could go wrong,lol.

Slam Bradley - Two-fisted boxer and drinker.

Ted Grant/Wildcat - For some reason (probably 'cuz they're about the same age) I've thought for a long time it would be fun if Ted and Zinda were drinking buddies. It just seems a natural to me.

Marvel

The Howling Commandos:

Nick Fury - Team Leader. The cigar choppin' whiskey drinking, fight starting kid from Hell's Kitchen.

Logan/James Howlett/Wolverine - Besides the fact that the clause in his contract with Marvel states he must be on every team. This is a natural team for him to be on.

Theresa Rourke Cassidy/Siryn - She's an irish screamer ;) What's not to love. Granted she's a recovering alcoholic,but I think it would be alright for her to relapse to be on this team.

Ben Grimm/The Thing - His favorite things in life: cigars, girls, beer and, fights.
It's clobberin' time!

Tony Stark/Iron Man - He and the suit practically run on pure grain alcohol. You can not have a team of dedicated drinkers without Tony Stark. Let's just hope Theresa isn't left alone with him for more than a couple of minutes or some neighborhoods may need to replace all their windows.

So, there you have it. In honor of St. Patty's Day. I give you the Marvel and DC's rowdiest, Drinkinest, Fightinest teams. The only Thing I think of to make these teams better is to have them fight each other in a five issue crossover.

Guy and Ice's First Date

This weekend I was able to get a copy of the JLI volume 4 hardcover and reading it I realized something about Guy and Tora's first data. Now, to give a little background I had never had the chance to read this issue before for a number of reasons and I finally got that chance this weekend (Yay!). While reading it and adding in the things I've read before I came to the conclusion that one of the reasons Guy treated Tora so badly on their first date wasn't so much that he was a jerk (granted it was a pretty jerkass move). However, I think it had more to do with Guy not wanting to get hurt. I think the main reason Guy chose the place he did for their first date was to get her to reject him out of hand. One of the things that leads me to this hypothesis is what we have been shown about his childhood. Because of this childhood it is and what happened when Hal loaned him his Power Battery it would be a stretch to say that Guy probably has some issues trusting people. Which is why I feel he chose to take Tora where he did. He liked her and was starting to thinking she liked him as well and rather then deal with her rejecting him after they got to know each other. He chose to force her into rejecting out of hand and using his persona within the group to play it off as Guy just being Guy. In other words I think Guy was testing Tora. Not to figure out if she was "loose" as he claimed but, to figure out if she would stick around on him or just bail. I also feel that another factor in all of this in with how she was always going on about how she know he was a sweetheart underneath his gruff exterior (based on his personality after hitting his head looking for his ring(after the infamous One Punch)). Of course, through the course of their relationship she was able to bring out his softer side after he finally let her into his heart.

Can't Blog Clown Will Eat Me!

Well, I don't really have much to say today. So, I just thought I'd write up a few remarks on how big comic book movies have gotten over the past few years. Of course, the funniest thing about this phenomenon is how Hollywood has viewed comic books in the past and how us comic book fans knew better. We've know for awhile that if the companies used the right stories and spent enough money to do them right, that comic book movies could be completely awesome. No matter what genre the books were and I think we should all take a little pride in the fact that Hollywood really doesn't know anything. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. It really is only a bad thing when the moguls, producers and, stars think they know something about what people want to watch. Of course, if true Redacted or Stop Loss would have made more than $15(combined). I think one of the many problems throughout the entertainment business (including comics) is when they try to stick with a certain formula because they think that it was that formula that made the project work. when in reality it was the project that worked and the formula was just a way of getting from point A to point B. I also think these industries have a problem with trying to find new and better material rather than doing retreads or figuring out that "winning" formula. I feel they should take more risk and throw more ideas against the wall to see, what sticks. After all Watchmen wasn't a good comic because it was "grim and gritty" it was good because Alan Moore is an insane genius. Well, that's my two cents have a good weekend.

Barda Vs. Diana: A somewhat onesided fight

Getting geared up for the weekend, I thought it would be fun to give y'all a little Thursday Thowdown. Today opponents are Wonder Woman and Big Barda =D
In the Right corner weighing in at 217 with a height of 7 feet.
Big Barda!


And in the left corner weighing in at 165 with a height of 5 feet 11 inches.
Wonder Woman!


The bell rings and we are ready for the fight of the century. Big Barda vs. Wonder Woman. The Leader of the Female Furies against the Amazon Princess.
Barda has an obvious size advantage in this one, all though both of them have super strength and near invulnerability. So, this should be a pretty tough match up.
Right off the bat Diana throws her magic lasso at Barda. In mid air Barda grabs the lasso and flings Wonder Woman across the ring. She then pulls on it, but Wonder Woman lets go of the rope and Barda flies backwards into the corner of the ring. Wonder Woman then flies of and begins pounding on her. After a couple of punches Barda is able to grab hold of Diana's wrist and uses it to toss Wonder Woman into the other corner. Barda then begins beating on Diana mercilessly. Finally, after quite a pummelling, Diana is able to free herself from the corner. She walks a couple of steps (towards the center of the ring) and falls down. Ladies and Gentlemen. Wonder Woman is out. Big Barda Is The Winner!! We hope you have enjoyed the fight tonight here at Roulette's Meta-Brawls, where entertainment rules and the audience always wins.

Only Six More Days

Incase you haven't heard (or care) on the 17th volume for of the JLI hardcover comes out. I can barely wait! Right now I'm trying to decide whether I should wait 'til the local comic shop or if I should just pre-order it on amazon. The pros of getting it at the shop is that when I give them my money I will have the book in my hand, however if they don't get it into stock I'm S.O.L. However, If I pre-order it I will get it in the mail soon after it is released but, I will be waiting by my mail box the whole time until it gets there. Man, I really took this series for granted as a kid. Granted, I could only get a fifth of the issues back then so sometimes things seemed off. But,now that I'm re-reading it. I'm loving it more than almost any other book I'm reading right now. The main books I'm really enjoying besides this series Empowered and Green Lantern Corps. Of course, J.M. DeMatteis gets bonus points for writing the episode of Batman: The Brave and the Bold starring Guy and G'Nort (The Eyes of Despero). Man, that was such a cool episode. Sure, it had Batman's one punch. But, it also had Guy beating the crap out of Sinestro. In conclusion I can not wait for Volume 4 of Justice League International to come out next week!!!

Movie Pitch: Guy Gardner

I thought I'd do something different today. This morning I was in the shower and I got the idea for the most awesome, action packed movie ever! That's right Guy Gardner. Well,technically it would be a trilogy. The first to movies would focus on Guy becoming a Green Lantern and the last movie of the trilogy would be Justice League International. So, let's get to it. Shall we?
Here's the pitch. The movie opens with Guy charging his power ring and the battery exploding and sending him into a coma. It then flashes back to his childhood in Baltimore and shows his family, his relationship with his parents, his juvenile delinquency and how his brother Mace set him on a better path. It would cut between these flashbacks and scenes at the hospital of Hal talking to him and the doctors. It would then show Guy becoming a football star, going to the University of Michigan and getting his bachelor's degrees in Education and Psychology. Then, the movie cuts to Oa and shows the beginnings of the rift between the Guardians (which will lead directly to the ending of the first film). We then flash to Guy's work as a prison social worker where he meets Hal Jordan. The first film ends with Guy becoming a Special Education teacher and the Guardians splitting into two factions.
The second movie picks up with Guy becoming Hal's backup and him continuing his work as a teacher until he was hit by the bus saving a lttle girl during an earthquake. It then cuts to all the renegade Gaurdians (save for one) being slain by Bolphunga The Unrelenting.It then follows up on the events which lead to Guy's power battery exploding at the opening of the first film. After this the remaining Guardian goes to Earth, wakes Guy from his coma and makes him a Green Lantern. The rest of the movie showing him tracking down, defeating and imprisoning Bolphunga and of course, the third movie would open with him sitting at the meeting table in the headquarters of the Justice League with his feet on the table waiting for the rest of the team to arrive.

And now that I've pitched it. Here's my picks for the cast of the Guy Gardner trilogy.

Guy Gardner - Jake Busey. You can't tell me he wouldn't be perfect for this role.

Roland Gardner - Gary Busey. Come on looking at the lead you can't tell me you didn't see this choice coming with the pick of the lead. Who better to play Guy's abusive alcoholic father than Gary fucking Busey.

Peggy Gardner - Judith Light. Seeing her on Law and Order, I think she has the chops for this role.

Mace Gardner - Sean Willaim Scott. Who better than Stifler to play Guy's older brother.

Hal Jordan - David Boreanaz. He was awesome in the role in New Frontier. So why not?

Bolphunga The Unrelenting - Kurtwood Smith. I don't think there could be a better person to play Bolphunga.

The Guardians - Stanley Tucci,Ben Kingsley, Armin Shimerman,Frank Langella, Clint Howard.

The Renegade Guadians - Fred Thompson,Robert Duvall, J.K. Simmons, R. Lee Ermey. Now those are some badass guardians.

The Last of the Renegade Guardians - Patrick Stewart. He's bold and he has the best voice ever.

Guy's Doctor - Bruce Campbell. I had to fit him in somewhere 'cuz he's just that awesome.

So, there you have it my plot and cast for the ultimate Guy Gardner movie.

More splenders of love

I'm not talking about The Watchmen 'cuz I still haven't seen it. So, I thought I'd go back and fill in some of the couples in comics that I dig but, because of lousy planning I left off of fridays list. Without any further ado, let's get to it.

Scott and Barda Free - I have no clue why or how I managed to leave this couple off the list. When I think of what marriage should be this couple is the example I use.

Gambit and Rogue - My favorite Southern fried couple. They may fight and bicker and maybe even stray. But, in the end they always come back to one another. No matter what happens you just know, they'll always end up together.

John Stewart and Katma Tui - They are literally a power couple.

Al and Wanda Simmons - Sure it all went to hell (literally) after he dead. But, he made a pact with the devil in an atempt to stay with her after his death. Now that's love.

Colossus and Kitty Pryde - Granted it is kind of wrong that he was pursuing he when she was in Junior High and he was already an adult. But, once she grow up they became a great couple as far as I'm concerned (well, when they aren't dying on each other).

Well, after doing both this list and the one from friday. I'm fairly certain now that I have included my favorite comic book couples.

Love is a many splendored thing

Well, it's that time of the week again. Time when I take a little break from typing things up and go out and try to spend some time in the real world. So, I thought I'd leave this week on a positive note and give you folks a list of my favorite couples in comic books. Not all them are current and some of them may even be out of print at the moment but, it's my list so i get to make the rules and my rule is that these couple can be from any age and any company :P
...And on that lovely note, let's begin. Shall we?

Guy Gardner and Tora Olafsdotter - At the moment this is my favorite couple between them starting over in the current issues of GLC and my re-reading the old JLI books, this couple is tops in my books. Plus I really dig the dynamics of their relationship and how Tora is one of the few people in the DCU that can tell Guy he's being an idiot and he'll actually listen and try to correct it.

Peter Parker and Felicia Harding - I'm not sure why but, of all the girls Pete's been with the Blackcat is my favorite and every time they team up I hope finally this time they'll hookup for the long haul. At the same time though, it totally makes sense to me that she prefers Spidey to Petey (can't blame her for that). Personally, I always felt that her main gripe was that she didn't believe he's really being himself when he's just being Pete and that he was always denying just how funny swinging through New york's skyline really was. Well, that and he tends to whine ALOT as Peter Parker,lol.

The Maxx and Julie Winters - Like alot of folks my age I got turned on to this series by the show on MTV and then went and got the books and every once in awhile I re-read them and in my mind (despite all their flaws like mental illness for one example) this is one of the cutest,sweetest couples in comics.

Scott Summers and Jean Grey - I think they should always end up together.

Jamie Madrox and Theresa Rourke Cassidy - Even though he (or one of his dupes) always finds a way to screw things up. I feel that in the end she will always forgive him and that one day they will live happily ever after together.

Tim Drake and Jubilation Lee - One of if not THE perfect couples in comics, even if they were only a couple during a pretty lame crossover it still counts and I thought it was awesome.

Well, there you have it the list of me favorite comic book couples. I hope you have enjoyed this post and have a great weekend. See you next week =D

Pop cultures most onesided fights

I'm in a bit of a silly mood today (well, to be honest it's actually more of a I need to be in a sillier mood) and in that spirit I thought it would be fun to list a bunch of onesided fights using characters from movies, TV and comics and maybe even one or two that could happen in real life (or already have). So, before this gets to be too long of an introduction...and away we go...
(FYI - The winners named first)

1) Guy Gardner vs. Boba Fett - That's right, the crazy GL vs. the guy who was knocked into the sarlac pit by a blind Han Solo.

2) Hulk vs. Willy Wonka - Hulk Smash! Then eat oompa loompas!

3) Alan Moore vs. Joe Quesada - one is a scary ass dark wizard that worships a snake god of his own creation, while writing crazy ass comics and the other guys is... well... Joe Quesada.

4) Dignity vs. Jimmy Fallon - If only he knew just how onesided this fight really was/is.

5) Mongul vs. Rictor - Boy, I bet he wishes he hadn't lost his mutant powers.

6) A DHL truck vs. Ch'p - Poor, poor Ch'p :*(

7) The Maxx vs. Sanity - PWN'd!!!

8) Scorpion vs. Phillip J. Fry - Get over here!!!

9) Cyborg Superman vs. Dr. House - If you stop beating me with my own leg I'll share my vicodin...

10) Firestorm vs. Emperor Palpitine - Force lightening...Not so good when you're figthing the nuclear man.

well, there you go some of the most onesided fights I would love to see and one or two that already have happened. In any event the thought of these folks fighting each other made me giggle and I figured I'd spread the funny.

Just an observation

For whatever reason when I woke up this morning. I started to think about sexism in comics and that made me start thinking about sexism in other mediums, like TV and Films. Now, I don't consider myself a feminist at all. I think everyone has a right to pursue happiness and that results may vary in achieving it and I think everyone should be judge by their skills and achievements. But, I was thinking about this and it struck me that as bad as comics can be when it comes to portraying in a way that most people would consider sexist. They seem to do a lot better at treating women as competitant and skilled people than TV or Movies do. Now, I'm not holding myself up as any type of authority on the matter. This is just an observation I have made. As far as I can tell the types of women that are considered heroic (even the ones that are stereotyped) still seem to be portrated as being stronger and more competent in comics.

Morgan Vs. Morgaine

So, the other day I was trying to come up with the weirdest or wackiest Marvel/DC crossover that should be and this is what I came up with... Morgan Le Fay (Marvel) and Morgaine Le Fey (DC) team up against Etrigan, Wonder Woman, Iron Man and Spider Woman. Tell me that doesn't sound awesome already. Here's the story both Morgan and Morgaine (boy, this could get confusing fast) are conjuring up something in their universes when at the same time they accidental access a portal to each other's universe. Just as this happens Iron Man and Spider Woman (how have been trying to track down Morgan) stumble in on the two of them crossing into the DCU and decide to follow. Back in the DCU Jason Blood senses something off in the universe and decides to contact the Justice League for help, they think he's just being weird but better safe than sorry they decide to send Diana out to help him. After all she is one of the heavy hitters on the team and has ties to the mystic universe, so why not. Meanwhile, Morgan and Morgaine have trapped Spider Woman in stone as Iron Man narrowly escaped. He flies out of their lair and attempts to find someone to help him and while he's doing all of this Jason Blood is explaining what he felt and how the universe could be affected to Diana and she decides to help him find out what's behind all of this and they decide they'd better check out the DCU's most powerful and mystical villains. While flying around carrying Jason, Diana spies Iron Man flying through the air and decides they'd better find out who this guy is. They meet up chat about whats going on, Tony hits on Diana and she punches him through a wall and then it's on to battle Morgan Le Fay and Morgaine Le Fey. Jason turns into Etrigan, they battle and everything ends up hunky dory as Morgaine and Morgan let Jessica Drew out of her stone imprisonment and in the end Tony and Jessica return to the Marvel U with Morgaine Le Fey. She winks at the audience and sets up the possibility for another story.
And there you have it, Jay's wacky Morgan Vs. Morgaine DC/Marvel crossover.

A strange thought about Green Lantern history

So, this weekend I had a strange thought. That thought was this considering the history, if Guy Gardner was as self aware as oh let's say Animal Man. Wouldn't Guy dislike John Stewart? After all when Denny O'Neil decided to create John Stewart ('cuz DC needed a black Green Lantern to be relavant,I guess) he had to get Guy out of the way and he accomplished this by having a bus fall on Guy. After this Guy Gardenr was out of comission for about a decade. If I was him I know I'd be irked. Besides, that one could also make the argument that because John was picked to be in the JLU cartoon it took until a new series for Guy Gardner to make his debut in another medium rather than just comics. So,taking all this into account I don't think Guy would like John if he was aware of all of this. But, that's just my two cents.

You already know who would win

It's the end of the week and before I go leave here for the next couple of days. I thought I'd leave you with something fun. So, this week I bring you another comic book match up.And who, you ask are the contestants... Gleek the space chimp Vs. Howard the Duck.



Clearly, Howard would completely own gleek in this fight. No contest. I just like the idea of an alien duck beating on a space chimp. Seeing how rear it is that ducks beat up chimps on this planet. So, there you have it. Another bit of fun to hold you over until next week,lol.

Fun with search engines

So, I've had this blog going for just about a month and I thought it would be fun to pick out the five weirdest search engine terms to bring people to Monkey Knife Fight.
So, without further ado... Here they are:

Monkey Bowling Shirt - I've been wondering were they looking for a bowling shirt with a monkey on it, or were they looking for a bowling shirt for a monkey. Either way I think it's pretty cool,lol.

Kirk Knife Fight Video - This could be pretty cool to find as well.Especially,if it was Shatner going after Takei in an outtake for stepping on his lines or something like that. Even better if they where looking for a video of KIRK Cameron in a knife fight.

The Fightgeek Girl - What is a fightgeek. Is that someone whom fights chickens and then bites their heads off? Do they go for bigger animals?

Drill Monkey Fights - Is this a monkey fight using power drills instead of knifes 'cuz if so...That would be awesome,lol.

Cartoons of a Monkey Knife Fight - Totally awesome!

Well, there's the list. I hope you enjoyed it as much as me,lol.

Guy Loves Ice

So, I was thinking about comics as I'm wont to do and I thought up what I think is a pretty good idea for a comic and that idea is... Guy Loves Ice, starring everyone's favorite Green Lantern...

Guy Gardner

and his sweetheart...

Ice

If I was writing it and I should be because it's my idea,damn it. I would make it about the trials and tribulations of trying to maintain a successful relationship, while being a intergalactic cop dating a superhero and all the complications that brings like your partner dying and being resurrected. For the most part the book would focus on the drama and comedy of modern relationships. With an occasional appearance of a sociopath bent on world or galactic conquest and it would take place in between the stories of the Green Lantern Corp. Mainly it would focus on Guy trying to be the best man he can be for his mate, and while he may slip and fail occasionally, most stories would end with him putting his arms around Tora looking deep into her eyes and saying " Baby, you're the greatest." before kissing her on the mouth. I image this book to be a cross between The Honeymooners (one of the best TV shows ever),Mary Jane loves Spiderman and, Justice League International, with a little dash of Nick and Nora Charles thrown in for good measure.
Well, there's my comic book idea. If you want to contact me Mr. DiDio,I will be waiting by the phone with eyes closed and fingers crossed.

Vs.

i was going to write a thrill fight between Aquaman and Namor: The Sub-mariner. But, then it donned on me that I'm not much of a fan of either one and as such I would be very good at calling a winner. After all most of my knowledge of Aquaman's powers come from the cartoons (well, that and Siskoid) and Namor with Namor all I really know is that he digs human women that are already married or atlest with a steady boyfriend. As far as I know there's not much of a difference in power levels between the two and that Aquaman can talk to the fishes. So, my prediction is that if Namor and Aquaman were to battle, no matter who one. The clear loser is DIGNITY.