I'm dreaming of a geeky christmas

The other day I was watching the Justice League Unlimited episode "Kid's Stuff" if you haven't seen it I highly recommend giving it a watch. Anyways, while I was watching it I started thinking about how awesome it would be if they made a Justice League Kids cartoon akin to the Tiny Titans comics but starring the big seven of the Justice League. This could be such a great series. You've got a boy scout in Superboy, a kid with serious ADD in The Flash, the overly serious Batman (Batboy?) the bossy and powerful Wonder Girl, a geek Green Lantern and weird little J'onn J'onnz and the buttmonkey Aquaman (Aquaboy?). You could even have most of the plots being how the Legion of Doom is trying to control the neighborhood or bust up the Justice League's lemonade stand. Hilarity ensues.

Scott Free

For those of you whom have read this blog before, you've probably noticed my affinity for Mr. Miracle. At first glance these a lot of superficial reason to dig Scott Free as a character. I mean how could you not enjoy someone with the tag line of "The Super Escape Artist." Much to Stan Lee's chagrin that is probably the most awesome set of words to every be strung together. Besides that he has the most garishly awesome costume to every grace a comic book page. But, digging a bit deeper beneath the surface and Mr.Miracle becomes the definition of pure brilliance. From the way Mr.Kirby set up his origins with his links to the High Father and Darksiad. To his set up of the relationship between Scott and Barda. In my opinion the Mr.Miracle books were Mssr. Kirby's magnum opus. I think the reason Scott Free hits such a cord with me is because, I really like the idea of being able to escape from any confines or situation no matter how deadly. There's something that really appeals to me in the concept of the world's greatest escape artist. I know I have been in many situations through out my life where I wish I could find a way to escape through a hidden passage or by using a lock pick, or just running away. I think (for me at least) that is the main reason I dig Mr. Miracle so much. He is never confined against his will (at least,not for long) and he can find a way out of any dangerous situation without having to punch his way out. He can simply look at the elements of whatever is keeping him trapped reach into his bag of tricks, or just use his mother box and he's free. Also like how the writers have always shown him and Barda as a loving couple that likes to fight crime and world threats more of a hobby than most other superheroes. That and they make such an awesome couple its hard not to root for them against the force of Apokolips.

Ultimate Drunk and Rowdy Teams

To celebrate St. Patty's Day. I thought I'd come up with the rowdiest, drinkingest fightingest teams for Marvel and DC. Becuase at the moment I'm digging DC more than Marvel I thought I'd start with their team first.
DC

The Losers:

Guy Gardner - Team Leader. He owns a bar and honestly I don't think there's anyone more rowdy than him.

Zinda Blake/Lady Blackhawk - I love Zinda. There aren't many men in the world that can match her in drinks or in a brawl. She's a two-fisted drinker and slugger with a pair of 9mms just in case things get heavy.

Jonah Hex - the drunken timetraveler. He likes whiskey and fightin' what could go wrong,lol.

Slam Bradley - Two-fisted boxer and drinker.

Ted Grant/Wildcat - For some reason (probably 'cuz they're about the same age) I've thought for a long time it would be fun if Ted and Zinda were drinking buddies. It just seems a natural to me.

Marvel

The Howling Commandos:

Nick Fury - Team Leader. The cigar choppin' whiskey drinking, fight starting kid from Hell's Kitchen.

Logan/James Howlett/Wolverine - Besides the fact that the clause in his contract with Marvel states he must be on every team. This is a natural team for him to be on.

Theresa Rourke Cassidy/Siryn - She's an irish screamer ;) What's not to love. Granted she's a recovering alcoholic,but I think it would be alright for her to relapse to be on this team.

Ben Grimm/The Thing - His favorite things in life: cigars, girls, beer and, fights.
It's clobberin' time!

Tony Stark/Iron Man - He and the suit practically run on pure grain alcohol. You can not have a team of dedicated drinkers without Tony Stark. Let's just hope Theresa isn't left alone with him for more than a couple of minutes or some neighborhoods may need to replace all their windows.

So, there you have it. In honor of St. Patty's Day. I give you the Marvel and DC's rowdiest, Drinkinest, Fightinest teams. The only Thing I think of to make these teams better is to have them fight each other in a five issue crossover.

Only Six More Days

Incase you haven't heard (or care) on the 17th volume for of the JLI hardcover comes out. I can barely wait! Right now I'm trying to decide whether I should wait 'til the local comic shop or if I should just pre-order it on amazon. The pros of getting it at the shop is that when I give them my money I will have the book in my hand, however if they don't get it into stock I'm S.O.L. However, If I pre-order it I will get it in the mail soon after it is released but, I will be waiting by my mail box the whole time until it gets there. Man, I really took this series for granted as a kid. Granted, I could only get a fifth of the issues back then so sometimes things seemed off. But,now that I'm re-reading it. I'm loving it more than almost any other book I'm reading right now. The main books I'm really enjoying besides this series Empowered and Green Lantern Corps. Of course, J.M. DeMatteis gets bonus points for writing the episode of Batman: The Brave and the Bold starring Guy and G'Nort (The Eyes of Despero). Man, that was such a cool episode. Sure, it had Batman's one punch. But, it also had Guy beating the crap out of Sinestro. In conclusion I can not wait for Volume 4 of Justice League International to come out next week!!!

More splenders of love

I'm not talking about The Watchmen 'cuz I still haven't seen it. So, I thought I'd go back and fill in some of the couples in comics that I dig but, because of lousy planning I left off of fridays list. Without any further ado, let's get to it.

Scott and Barda Free - I have no clue why or how I managed to leave this couple off the list. When I think of what marriage should be this couple is the example I use.

Gambit and Rogue - My favorite Southern fried couple. They may fight and bicker and maybe even stray. But, in the end they always come back to one another. No matter what happens you just know, they'll always end up together.

John Stewart and Katma Tui - They are literally a power couple.

Al and Wanda Simmons - Sure it all went to hell (literally) after he dead. But, he made a pact with the devil in an atempt to stay with her after his death. Now that's love.

Colossus and Kitty Pryde - Granted it is kind of wrong that he was pursuing he when she was in Junior High and he was already an adult. But, once she grow up they became a great couple as far as I'm concerned (well, when they aren't dying on each other).

Well, after doing both this list and the one from friday. I'm fairly certain now that I have included my favorite comic book couples.

Pop cultures most onesided fights

I'm in a bit of a silly mood today (well, to be honest it's actually more of a I need to be in a sillier mood) and in that spirit I thought it would be fun to list a bunch of onesided fights using characters from movies, TV and comics and maybe even one or two that could happen in real life (or already have). So, before this gets to be too long of an introduction...and away we go...
(FYI - The winners named first)

1) Guy Gardner vs. Boba Fett - That's right, the crazy GL vs. the guy who was knocked into the sarlac pit by a blind Han Solo.

2) Hulk vs. Willy Wonka - Hulk Smash! Then eat oompa loompas!

3) Alan Moore vs. Joe Quesada - one is a scary ass dark wizard that worships a snake god of his own creation, while writing crazy ass comics and the other guys is... well... Joe Quesada.

4) Dignity vs. Jimmy Fallon - If only he knew just how onesided this fight really was/is.

5) Mongul vs. Rictor - Boy, I bet he wishes he hadn't lost his mutant powers.

6) A DHL truck vs. Ch'p - Poor, poor Ch'p :*(

7) The Maxx vs. Sanity - PWN'd!!!

8) Scorpion vs. Phillip J. Fry - Get over here!!!

9) Cyborg Superman vs. Dr. House - If you stop beating me with my own leg I'll share my vicodin...

10) Firestorm vs. Emperor Palpitine - Force lightening...Not so good when you're figthing the nuclear man.

well, there you go some of the most onesided fights I would love to see and one or two that already have happened. In any event the thought of these folks fighting each other made me giggle and I figured I'd spread the funny.

Just an observation

For whatever reason when I woke up this morning. I started to think about sexism in comics and that made me start thinking about sexism in other mediums, like TV and Films. Now, I don't consider myself a feminist at all. I think everyone has a right to pursue happiness and that results may vary in achieving it and I think everyone should be judge by their skills and achievements. But, I was thinking about this and it struck me that as bad as comics can be when it comes to portraying in a way that most people would consider sexist. They seem to do a lot better at treating women as competitant and skilled people than TV or Movies do. Now, I'm not holding myself up as any type of authority on the matter. This is just an observation I have made. As far as I can tell the types of women that are considered heroic (even the ones that are stereotyped) still seem to be portrated as being stronger and more competent in comics.

Who would win?

Going with that time honored tradition of matching up characters from different universe today I thought it would be fun to throw one out there that probably no one has thought about doing, so here you: Who would win in a fight,Mr. Miracle, Beast or, Gregory House,MD?

Scott Free AKA Mr. Miracle


He has the ability to escape from in trap or situation that places him in peril. Besides this ability he is also armed with a pair of flying discs, a mother box (heh,heh)and jets in his belt and on the bottom of his boots.

Dr. Hank McCoy AKA Beast


Beast is a mutant born with a super genius intellect, superhuman strength, speed, reflexes, agility, flexibility, dexterity, coordination, balance, and endurance.

Dr. Gregory House AKA That prick House


House, has the ability diagnose strange and rare illnesses and cure them within a single episode, he also has heightened sarcasm, and the ability to point out the flaws in the personalities and thoughts of others. His main weapons are sarcasm and his cane.

So now we get to the fight!

At a medical confrence Dr. Hank McCoy is speaking about the mutant gene and its effect on human populations and the societial problems that have arisen because of it. In the middle of his speach Dr. House (from the audience) calls out bullshit. He then goes on a huge spiel about how the mutant gene is complete crap and that the AMA should revoke Dr. McCoy's credentials for even suggesting such nonsense. This infuriates Beast and he leaps at House from the stage when he lands in front of Dr. House, Greg House calls his a moron and hits him with his cane. This makes Beast backhand him into another room and leap towards that room. Well, in that other room is Mr. Miracle giving the keynote speech at a convenetion of illusionists and escape artists. He pauses mid sentance as Dr. House flies through the wall folled by Dr. McCoy Swing into the room. McCoy lands on House, and House then informs the good doctor about the significance of the areas of matted fur on Beast, this enrages him and Beast rips off Gregory House's bum leg and begins beating him with it. Mr. Miracle Tries to intervine and the Beast begins to hit him with doctor House's bum leg. House, tosses his cane at Scott and downs a bottle of vicadin. Mr. Miracle grabs the cane and stabs Hank in the eye with it he then takes out Beast's knees and grabs out a pair of Apokolipsian restaints and binds Beasts arms with then. After that he goes to return Dr. House cane. House then makes fun of the color scheme of Scott Free's costume and Mr. Miracle whacks House upside the head with his own cane kn ocking him out. I think this shows that Mr. Miracle would be the winner of this fight. House and Beast would be way to distracted by the other and would not be able to defeat Scott Free (at least in my opinion)

In the brightest day...

Ya know, Thinking about all the cool weapons in comics,I gotta say I think the coolest one to have would be a GL power ring. Sure, adamantium claws would be pretty groovy for somethings as would Cap's vibranium shield. Batman has some neat gadgets to but, all in all I gotta say the coolest of them all is the ring bestowed on those with the ability to overcome great fear by the Guardians of the Galaxy. Of course, I could see myself becoming pretty lazy if I did have one of those rings. I mean I would use it for everything. cleaning the house, grabbing the TV remote, turning off my alarm, everything. Not only that but, I would sell my car and fly everywhere, even the corner store. heck if my ceiling had a higher clearance I would fly to the bathroom using it. Heck I'd even use it as my furniture and sell off all of mine.

Fading Glory

Today I thought I'd harsh every one's mellow and add my two cents to the biggest problem affecting the comic book industry today. Namely, readership. Stroytellingwise this maybe a golden age for comics. But, according to sales this may be one of the lowest points in comics. From my own observations the main reason that comics seem unable to add new readers in any significant way are twofold. the first one is distribution because of how the direct market mainly sells comics only to comic book retails unless you know where a comic book shop is you really can't get into reading comics. Now this wouldn't be that big of a problem if there were comic book shops in most neighborhoods, however this is not the case. Personally, since Free Time Comics (in Westminster) closed down and the Mile High Comics(in Thornton) moved, it has been quite hard for me to get my weekly comic book fix and that's without adding in the money woes that have been effecting everything as of late. At school (as I know for my comic book knowledge)I have been asked on quite a few occasion from classmates who really dig the movies based on our four color heroes. These folks regularly say to my that they dig the movies but don't know where to go to find comic books. Of course, when they do I give them the locations of several good comic book shops,and as far as I can tell they rearly go, part of the reason I feel is how intimidating walking into a comic shop could be if you are not already into them.
Which brings us to the other problem of pulling in new readers. Which is mainly editorially mandated strangeness and stories based on dense continuity. Stories like; Civil War and Final Crisis. though stories like these sell big with regular readers they do nothing to bring in new readers. Herein lies the problem. How do you generate bigger sales without adding readers? The quick answer is what the big two have been doing, you play to the base. Of course, the problem with this is that this strategy only works as long as there is a base. Part of the problem is also the variation between the books and the movies. Not to say the comics and movies should have the same continuity but, I could see how it is hard to reconcile the two when someone whom wants to read Spider man comics because they really dig the movie and after finding a comic book shop they get a new issue of Amazing Spider-man and there is no MJ even worse is their expected reaction when they ask someone they know who is into comics why there's no MJ in the book and you a forced to tell them about Brand New Day and it's satanic divorce. I'm sure it hasn't helped when I've been asked about it that the first thing out of my mouth is... UGH! Just like in politics, if you want to be successful in entertainment. You can't simple play to the base. If for no other reason, a base that is not adding anybody new is that humans are mortal and as such if you never adding one new your movement or business will only decline.

I really want a GL bowling shirt and maybe a track suit

ARG! Todays been pretty hectic I had to take a mid-term and do some homework. Which is the reason it is so late in the day and I hadn't posted a new blog yet. well, since my time is pretty limited today this is going to be a bit short. Anyways, Here we go...
Every once in a while I wonder why neither DC or Marvel has put out a clothing line. I mean there are enough comic book fans out there that this could easily make money. So, I thought I'd take up the challenge and tell these folks how to make some more money.
If I was in charge of Marvel I would put a an Xavier's School for Higher Learning clothing line. This line of clothes would include sports jackets, gym shirts and shorts, ties, tie pins, varisity and junior varisity jackets, hoodies, track suits and anything else I could think of. All of them would include (somewhere on them) the Xavier's School logo.
As for DC, I would do a Green Lantern clothing line. Besides the GL jackets, hoodies and shirts they already produce, it would include wifebeaters, hawaiin shirts (like the one Guy sports in GLC #4) bowling shirts. track suits and whatever else I could think of, and of course all the different GL rings would be available in basic and light and sound versions.
Personally, I think this idea would be like printing money for both of the big two. Now if only they'd give me a job in their marketing depts. I would be on my way to making this a reality.

When comics go bad

Just to switch things up I thought I'd do a post about underated characters from my favorite comic books. Most of these characters have been killed off, depowered or just ran through the ringer by writes who thought they were lame or dumb or useless. Which personally I don't understand if yoiu've got the right person writing anything can become good. I never really understood why a superhero has to have really great powers to be cool. So, anyways here's my list have fun and if you end up getting a book with one of these folks in it then I've done a good job : )
Jubilee ~ What can I say even though I'm probably one of her only fans I really really dig Jubilee. She's a mallrat from beverly hills with the mutant power to shoot fireworks and explosive charges from her fingertips. For most of the ninties she was Wolverine's sidekick and was in the X-Men and Generation X comics. She's been in all three X-Men movies (no speaking parts unfortunately) and has been in both cartoons. But, a couple of years ago the powers that be at marvel decided she was not cool and her powers suck (which in all honesty they kinda do) and during the huge mess that was the house of M crossover series she was depowered.
Doug Ramsey (cypher) ~ This guy was hated on from the first time he appeared in the comic The New Mutants mainly because nobody understood how awesome his mutant power was. Doug has the ability to instantly learn any language. I'm not talking about just human or alien langauges either. Computer langauge body language,etc. This has to be one of the best super powers ever. Alas, the wirters could never figure out a good way to show off his power and only a couple years after his first appearance he was killed off.
Cassandra Cain (Batgirl) ~ Although I haven't read alot of her comics I dug Cassie as Batgirl. She was raised by her dad to be the ultimate assassin and through lots of emotional and physical abuse he nearly acomplished this goal. However after her first kill (at the age of eight) she ran away and years later Batman and Barbera Gordon (the original Batgirl) converted her to their cause and she became the new Batgirl. During the years they did a really good job of writing her. From her learning to read to her becoming friends with Robin's girlfriend and the loss she felt when Robin's girlfriend was killed during the Batman crossover "War Games". Then this year to mess with Robin's head the folks at DC turned her into an assassin who was trying to kill him. I bet she wouldn't have turned to evil had someone given her a hug*sniff*
Well, I could go on and on, on this subject. But, it's getting late. Plus, I didn't really want to go into how lame and sadistic it is how Marvel continues to bring Jean Grey back to life just to kill her again as soon as they get the itch. It's just so messed up. Maybe one of these days the folks at Marvel and DC will realize that even the lamest characters (ahem, I'm looking at you Ambush Bug) is somebodies favorite and show the characters and fans more respect than they do now ( Joey Q, I'm looking at you). Yes, I know these a fictional characters and do not actually exist. But, I couldn't think of anything else to write about and this has been bouncing around in my head for awhile. So, I figured I'd jot it down. Maybe one day when I have the time I'll go into more detail on other characters I like who have gotten the shaft in comics and how cool they could have been if they had been written by someone with some skillz.

Best Comic Movie,yet

So,here you go.I've decided to make a movie pitch.This is for a DC character so only Warner Bros. could make it. so,here it is. Mister Miracle. For those not in the "know" Mister Miracle is really Scott Free, the world's greatest escape artist. I know you're down but I'm going to sweeten the pot even more. Scott Free is a fugitive from the planet Apokolips. He and his wife (Big Barda,whom has the strength of Superman) Escape to Earth in the hopes of independence from the dictator, Darkseid. At first, Darkseid sends his minions to kill Scott and Barda. Through death defing heroics they (Scott and Barda) Return to Apokolips and go after Darkseid. In hopes of forcing him into a final conflict. Doesn't this concept just sceam blockbuster? It's got it all a querky couple (the wife can lift cars and the husband is an escape artist). Hell, this could be a fun sitcom,even. It also should have tons of explosions and hair raising escapes and to top it off the villain is a monolithic,despot, who's nigh-omnipotent.If you got the right director on this flick it would be just like printing money. But,that's just my 2 cents XD

By the power of Grabthar's Hammer

I though it woulld be fun today to make a list of the superheroes with the most useful powers. Just so everyone understands when I say useful I don't mean fighting skills or any of that I mean useful in normal everyday life. So, with that little pre-amble: Away we go.
Jamie Madrox (Multiple Man) - Jamie has what I think would be the most useful power in the world he can create duplicates of himself through kinetic energy. Using his powers you'd finally has time to get everything done.
Bobby Drake (Iceman) - This one would be great for parties or hot days or whatever. Bobby has the ability to create ice from the moisture in the air. This guy would be awesome to have around on margerita night.
Doug Ramsey (Cypher) - He can instantly understand any new language he hears. This power would be like 8 shades of awesome to have.
Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler) - He can teleport through dimensions in order to go from one place to another. Using this power he can travel miles in a matter of seconds (he also gets bonus points for having a prehensile tail).
Peter Parker (Spiderman) - He can climb walls and stick to the ceiling and of course, his most useful power for everyday living has got to be his Spidey sense.
Kitty Pryde - She can walk through walls. Do I need to add anythign else?
James Howlett?/Logan (Wolverine) - His actual pwer would be pretty damn useful. Being able to regenerate any damaged body tissue, if for no other reason you could drink and smoke all you want and not have to worry about damaging your liver or lungs.
Hal Jordan/ John Stewart/ Guy Gardner/ Kyle Rayner (Green Lantern) - Having a Green Lantern power ring would make life so easy, that I have no clue why at least one of these guys is not 800 pounds. The ring can project any thing you can imagine and it can make you fly.
Any of the many telepaths in any comic - the ability to know what anyone is thinking, this would be such a handy power.
Warren Worthington III (Angel/Archangel) - The guy has freakin' bird wings!
and an honorible mention goes out to Jubilee her pwers wouldn't be very useful in the real world (much like in the Marvel Universe,lol) but, she would definitely be someone who would make any party kick ass.
Well, there you go the most useful super powers in comics. Agree/ Disagree???