Even Buttmonkeys Have a Good Day

When I can (which is mainly when I remember too,lol). I enjoy watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold. So far, I've really enjoyed the show, I like it's light and fun tone and enjoy its pairings of Batman with wide swaths of the DCU. Through all of this the thing that most surprised me (especially, if you're a longtime reader. Hi Mom!) is that some of my favorite episodes are the ones with Aquaman in them. I have been enjoying their characterization of him quite a bit. The episode that really brought this to my attention was the one in which Aquaman is supposed to be on vacation with Mera and Arther Jr. and he keeps sneaking off to fight crime. Plus, it always brings a smile to my face when I hear his catchphrase, "Outrageous!!!" something about that just really tickles me in a happy place.

Wow! Two posts in one month?!?!

So, lately I've been reading the Showcase collections of The Unknown Soldier and Bat Lash and while reading them I started thinking about how awesome an Unknown Soldier movie would be. This Would make such a dope WWII movie. It has everything, a protagonist whom disguises himself to look like who ever he needs to be, Nazi punching, the pathos of a man who lost his face in battle. This could be the best WWII movie ever.



Seriously, just the tagline of "The right man in the right place can change the outcome." Put that on the movie poster with a darkened silhouette of the Unknown Soldiers bandaged up face and it would be just like printing money. Looking at Bat Lash however, I think his adventures would work better on television, despite it being a western I actually think a Bat Lash TV show would do really well, especially on USA. That channel would be perfect of the gentleman rogue whom trouble finds whenever he walks into a new town set up the series long story of him looking to exact revenge on the guys who killed his family and a girl and town of the week and you get ratings gold!



Well, those are me thoughts on a couple ideas for TV and movies.

Batman makes even Adam West a bad ass

So, I can't really blog today. But, I still wanted to keep up the Batman theme. so, here's Batman (as played by Adam West) fighting a shark. Enjoy!

Pop cultures most onesided fights

I'm in a bit of a silly mood today (well, to be honest it's actually more of a I need to be in a sillier mood) and in that spirit I thought it would be fun to list a bunch of onesided fights using characters from movies, TV and comics and maybe even one or two that could happen in real life (or already have). So, before this gets to be too long of an introduction...and away we go...
(FYI - The winners named first)

1) Guy Gardner vs. Boba Fett - That's right, the crazy GL vs. the guy who was knocked into the sarlac pit by a blind Han Solo.

2) Hulk vs. Willy Wonka - Hulk Smash! Then eat oompa loompas!

3) Alan Moore vs. Joe Quesada - one is a scary ass dark wizard that worships a snake god of his own creation, while writing crazy ass comics and the other guys is... well... Joe Quesada.

4) Dignity vs. Jimmy Fallon - If only he knew just how onesided this fight really was/is.

5) Mongul vs. Rictor - Boy, I bet he wishes he hadn't lost his mutant powers.

6) A DHL truck vs. Ch'p - Poor, poor Ch'p :*(

7) The Maxx vs. Sanity - PWN'd!!!

8) Scorpion vs. Phillip J. Fry - Get over here!!!

9) Cyborg Superman vs. Dr. House - If you stop beating me with my own leg I'll share my vicodin...

10) Firestorm vs. Emperor Palpitine - Force lightening...Not so good when you're figthing the nuclear man.

well, there you go some of the most onesided fights I would love to see and one or two that already have happened. In any event the thought of these folks fighting each other made me giggle and I figured I'd spread the funny.

Just an observation

For whatever reason when I woke up this morning. I started to think about sexism in comics and that made me start thinking about sexism in other mediums, like TV and Films. Now, I don't consider myself a feminist at all. I think everyone has a right to pursue happiness and that results may vary in achieving it and I think everyone should be judge by their skills and achievements. But, I was thinking about this and it struck me that as bad as comics can be when it comes to portraying in a way that most people would consider sexist. They seem to do a lot better at treating women as competitant and skilled people than TV or Movies do. Now, I'm not holding myself up as any type of authority on the matter. This is just an observation I have made. As far as I can tell the types of women that are considered heroic (even the ones that are stereotyped) still seem to be portrated as being stronger and more competent in comics.

A strange thought about Green Lantern history

So, this weekend I had a strange thought. That thought was this considering the history, if Guy Gardner was as self aware as oh let's say Animal Man. Wouldn't Guy dislike John Stewart? After all when Denny O'Neil decided to create John Stewart ('cuz DC needed a black Green Lantern to be relavant,I guess) he had to get Guy out of the way and he accomplished this by having a bus fall on Guy. After this Guy Gardenr was out of comission for about a decade. If I was him I know I'd be irked. Besides, that one could also make the argument that because John was picked to be in the JLU cartoon it took until a new series for Guy Gardner to make his debut in another medium rather than just comics. So,taking all this into account I don't think Guy would like John if he was aware of all of this. But, that's just my two cents.

Who would win?

Going with that time honored tradition of matching up characters from different universe today I thought it would be fun to throw one out there that probably no one has thought about doing, so here you: Who would win in a fight,Mr. Miracle, Beast or, Gregory House,MD?

Scott Free AKA Mr. Miracle


He has the ability to escape from in trap or situation that places him in peril. Besides this ability he is also armed with a pair of flying discs, a mother box (heh,heh)and jets in his belt and on the bottom of his boots.

Dr. Hank McCoy AKA Beast


Beast is a mutant born with a super genius intellect, superhuman strength, speed, reflexes, agility, flexibility, dexterity, coordination, balance, and endurance.

Dr. Gregory House AKA That prick House


House, has the ability diagnose strange and rare illnesses and cure them within a single episode, he also has heightened sarcasm, and the ability to point out the flaws in the personalities and thoughts of others. His main weapons are sarcasm and his cane.

So now we get to the fight!

At a medical confrence Dr. Hank McCoy is speaking about the mutant gene and its effect on human populations and the societial problems that have arisen because of it. In the middle of his speach Dr. House (from the audience) calls out bullshit. He then goes on a huge spiel about how the mutant gene is complete crap and that the AMA should revoke Dr. McCoy's credentials for even suggesting such nonsense. This infuriates Beast and he leaps at House from the stage when he lands in front of Dr. House, Greg House calls his a moron and hits him with his cane. This makes Beast backhand him into another room and leap towards that room. Well, in that other room is Mr. Miracle giving the keynote speech at a convenetion of illusionists and escape artists. He pauses mid sentance as Dr. House flies through the wall folled by Dr. McCoy Swing into the room. McCoy lands on House, and House then informs the good doctor about the significance of the areas of matted fur on Beast, this enrages him and Beast rips off Gregory House's bum leg and begins beating him with it. Mr. Miracle Tries to intervine and the Beast begins to hit him with doctor House's bum leg. House, tosses his cane at Scott and downs a bottle of vicadin. Mr. Miracle grabs the cane and stabs Hank in the eye with it he then takes out Beast's knees and grabs out a pair of Apokolipsian restaints and binds Beasts arms with then. After that he goes to return Dr. House cane. House then makes fun of the color scheme of Scott Free's costume and Mr. Miracle whacks House upside the head with his own cane kn ocking him out. I think this shows that Mr. Miracle would be the winner of this fight. House and Beast would be way to distracted by the other and would not be able to defeat Scott Free (at least in my opinion)

Where no GL has gone before

I've been reading silver age Green Lantern issues lately and a thought occurred to me. Whether, by design or just coincidence (on the part of Star Trek writers) James Kirk is really similar in design to Hal Jordan. Mostly likely this is just because in the late fifties early sixties this archetype was what writers thought was what a man was supposed to be. Like Kirk Hal had a long string of romantic partners during that time, they both were men of action who depended on aliens (Spock the guardians) to step in when they were acting to emotional. In fact couldn't you see William Shatner circa 1964 playing the perfect Emerald Gladiator in a movie of TV show. I think back then Shatner would have made the perfect Hal Jordan.





Am I right? or am I right?

Next on the Tonight Show a man who can shoot webs and crawl up walls

Well, I was gonna try to come up with something that didn't include any references to Mr. Miracle today. I'm a bit scared I may become that guy that only blogs about Mr. Miracle and although he is one of my favorite characters I don't want to become pigeonhold by him either. But, I just couldn't resist talking about how of all the comic characters out there the two (at least in my mind) that have the best logic when it comes to their garish costumes are Scott Free and Peter Parker. In Scott's case he got his costume and superhero identity from the original Mr. Miracle who was an escape artist and as such it made sense he would wear such an outragous looking outfit and the same goes for Spidey. In case you don't remember Speider-Man's reason for creating his costume was so he would look cool on TV. Maybe it just me but I buy the idea alot more of people originally coming up with their fanastically splendid costumes. Just so they could look good while performing for an audience than some one like Batman (also a big fav of mine) whom decided that he could strike fear into the hearts of criminals if he outfitted all his toys and accessories with a bat motif and putting bat ears on his cowl. Of course, Batman and Mr. Miracle both abide from the first rule of superhero costumes "capes kick ass". I guess I just like the idea that both Mr. Miracle and Spider-Man started out as performers before they became heroes. To me that's a bit more interesting than the run of the mill, "well, today I got splashed with toxic waste and it gave me superpowers. So, I'm going to become a crime fighter or I have superpowers because I come from a different planet, do you have any bank robbers I can beat up? Well, that's my 2 cents on superheroes and their costumes. Feel free to disagree.

Coming soon to the CW (hopefully)

So, looking back on one of my posts, it got me thinking about how cool it would be if once Smallville dies it's long needed death that the CW's next superhero venture should be... Wait for it... A sitcom starring Steve Carell and Lucy Lawless (in order to go back and further form this to my JLI cast) as Scott and Barda Free add in wacky neighbor/midget Oberon set in a suburban Anytown, USA type place and this would be a license to print money. This could be so funny, having Barda holding the couch over her head as she vacuums the floor wearing her bunny slippers. Mr. Miracle accidently torching the garage as he prepares his next death trap. Once in awhile they could have Darkseid show up and try to wreck things for them. I think the endless jokes about Barda's bad cooking would be enough to support the show for at least a season just on its own. Then you throw in cosmic civil war an ill tempered midget and some death defying feats, I think this would be a winner. The only thing I can think of that would make this a better series, is if you added a normal couple to the cast that lived next door (ala Steve and Marcy from Married with children). Well, there you have it my idea for the best sitcom EVER.

Geek-Cred and how to get it

For some reason this question comes up quite a bit. I think it has to do with my age and that I still like reading comic books (total geek-cred). Well the main reason is the stories comics have a more layered story than alot of the other forms of storytelling, especially movies and TV. Another reason is the characters. One of my favorites is a girl named Rahne (pronouced Rain) Sinclair, who grow up in a strict presbyterien household. Then when she was 14 she discovered she had a mutant power which in abled her to change into a wolf. For years she struggled with her animal and human sides along with her strict christian upbringing which for along made her feel like she was evil because of her powers.In the comics she's gone from someone who was shy and full of self loathing into a women whom is confident and outspoken,while still remaining true to her faith. Another fav of mine is the Maxx,a construction worker who suffers a psychotic break with reality and comes to beleive he must portect a women named Julie from threats that are mostly in his imagination.More than that Julie bonds with him and helps him to see were reality really lies and occassionally he does save her from real danger.Of course his brain does turn would be muggers into super villians,but that's the fun of it all.It's also more than that (but you'll have to read it to find out how much more,or rent the video). I think there is something really cool about using pictures to tell a story,maybe even something primal wrapped around the strands of our DNA. After all cave drawings were basicly one or two frame comics telling the story of great feats. Still there's more something about reading such an amped up version of the human condition. Which is what makes Spider-Man such a great character,sure he has amazing superpowers.But, he still has to worry about paying the rent, will his checks bounce,is he going to be fired all question we all ask ourselves and on top of that he has to stop complete psychopaths from trying to destory his city or kill his loved ones. Some of his best stories are the ones inwhich he must choose between helping someone he loves or saving the city from some napherious plot. Comics also seem better at mixing in humor with meledrama than movies or television.Books are somewhat better at this. There also seems to be something in human nature,where we feel our heroes and villians should have some type of supernatural or superhuman power. From Hercules fighting the giant Cyclopses to King Aurthur and Merlin.I use these examples because besides just stories I think of comic books as a sort of modern day mythology. Who knows maybe in a couple hundred years the people of that time will think of comics in the same quaint way we think of greek or roman mythology or maybe they'll just think of them as crude drawings the way we look at cave drawings or not.Yes, some comics are just plain dumb but what medium doesn't have that problem. Another cool things about comics is it's one of the few American art forms along with jazz,the mystery story and the banjo. I could go on and on but since nobody will probably read this I think here is a good stopping point.