I'm dreaming of a geeky christmas

The other day I was watching the Justice League Unlimited episode "Kid's Stuff" if you haven't seen it I highly recommend giving it a watch. Anyways, while I was watching it I started thinking about how awesome it would be if they made a Justice League Kids cartoon akin to the Tiny Titans comics but starring the big seven of the Justice League. This could be such a great series. You've got a boy scout in Superboy, a kid with serious ADD in The Flash, the overly serious Batman (Batboy?) the bossy and powerful Wonder Girl, a geek Green Lantern and weird little J'onn J'onnz and the buttmonkey Aquaman (Aquaboy?). You could even have most of the plots being how the Legion of Doom is trying to control the neighborhood or bust up the Justice League's lemonade stand. Hilarity ensues.

Hopefully this won't be the last post of the year

Once again, I feel the need to apologize to the loyal few of you out there whom read my blog. I have been woefully neglectful of you these several months. Hopeful if god(s)'s willing. I will be posting on here regularly after the new year. I may have done a similar post to this on in the past. But, I feel it is time again to do a list of the Justice League I would have if I was writing the book. As some of you who have followed this blog for awhile may remember (or may not due to my sporadic posting) I am a big fan of lists. I enjoy creating reading them pairing them down. In short I am a big fan of lists and if no further delay here is my JLA team.

Superman - Even though I'm not a huge fan of Supes, in my mind there is no better leader in the DCU then the big blue boy scout.

Batman - He's Batman, he has a plan for everything. Hell, he's even got a badass singing voice (anyone remember way back when I posted that vid of him singing "Am I Blue"?)

Guy Gardner - Every JLA team needs a Green Lantern and since he's my favorite emerald guarding, he's on the team (ah the fun of nepotism).

Booster Gold - I really enjoyed his time with Bats and Guy back in the Justice League International books. As well as enjoying his current solo title and if nothing else he adds some good comic relief. Plus I kinda like the idea that with this team Kal-El could be a good role model for the goldster and help him become a true hero (in any time stream).

Stargirl - After all these years of having her being on the JSA roster and the superhero game become a bit old hat for her. I think it would be fun to move Courtney up to the majors with a spot on the League. Plus she could fill the Jubilee role on the team :)

Zatanna - I'm a big fan of Zatanna (as well as her costume,lol). Because of this and the fact that on a team like this you need someone who is able to handle the magic wielding foes the league occasionally goes up against she is a good person to have on the team (as long as she promises not to mind wipe her colleagues that is,lol)

Oracle - For while there she was the eyes and ears of Gotham City and I feel that her skills and computer suave would be ideal for use on the watchtower (yeah, in my book the watch tower also makes a comeback).

Wildcat - He's already taught most of these folks to fight anyways. Why not have the old, tough as nails hard fighting, hard drinking sonabitch that is Ted Grant on the team. Plus, it would be fun doing stories where he bitchslaps Lex Luthor or Mr. Freeze.

S.T.R.I.P.E. - All I got to say on this one is that he's a badass Mecha. He's on the team and if nothing else it would be fun seeing him and Stargirl interacting with the rest of the League as he tries to protect her and carry out his role as her step dad. While sitting next to Bats, Guy and, Booster.

So, there you have it my Justice League. Feel free to mock me for my choices. But, I think this team would really make for a fun and enjoyable book. i could even foresee Guy and Courtney becoming partners in crime not literally, but in getting some of the other teammates to loosen up (I'm looking at you Batman).

Batman may have too much time on his hands,lol.

So, today I thought I'd post Batman's responses to this here survey. I hope you find it entertaining :)

What type of day are you having?
My parents died when I was 8. What kind of day do you think I'm having?

Was there anyone who "made your day"?
Selina,handling the pnks on the east side.

Are you liking how you look today?
I always look good

Do you have anyone crushing on you?
Where to begin

Have you ever eaten a bug?
yes

Are you vegeterian?
No

When was the last time you kissed someone?
Selina kissed me last night on a rooftop

Have you ever had something stuck between your teeth, but no one decided to tell you?
No.. i check that shit

Are you a mother or a father?
Both and ocasionally neither

When was your last paycheck?
I don't know Alfred takes care of that stuff

How many pets do you have?
1 dog, 2300 bats

What kind of toothpaste do you use?
Special ultra expensive stuff

Are you closer to being rich or poor?
I'm on of the richest people in the world

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
No, not since I was 8

What was the last gift someone gave you?
The Joker gave me an exploding action figure for christmas

Do you appreciate that person?
No, I loathe him

Are you in love?
No, it would interfer with me mission

Have you ever been in love?
No

Do you even believe in love?
I used to, before my parents died.

How many things are you really thinking about right now?
2,457

Did you talk to anyone you didn't like today?
Yes, criminals

Do you like picnics?
Not since, my parents died when I was 8.

Have you finished school yet?
a few of them

What is/was your worst subject?
None, I'm Batman

Are you American?
Yes

Who are you voting for?
I don't vote since getting burned by Luthor. Tax exemptions for customized planes my ass.

Do you like Bush?
I don't like anything a criminal can hide behind

What kind of mood are you in?
what do you mean by that

Are you waiting for anything?
The night

Are you going to bed after this?
Nope, I've had my 2.3 hours of sleep for the day

Where were you september 11. 2001?
Busting heads

What book are you currently reading?
Spirits & Incantations, The latest on criminalogy and something lame Tim got me.

What song did you last listen to?
Something or other by Prince, or maybe it was Danny Elfman.

What movie is in your DVD player?
um...I'd have to check with Alfred

How many windows are open in your computer?
15

Are you a very stressed out person?
Never

How old is your mom?
She's dead. Thanks for pouring salt in the wound

Has your mom ever been on television or in the paper?
yes, when she and my father were murdered

Do you have a beach house?
Yeah..

Where do you live?
Gotham City

Do you ever watch Bold and the beautiful?
i dont even watch tv.

Do you sometimes watch the news?
I have to as part of the mission

Have you ever seen a UFO?
Yes

Do you believe in aliens?
yes, I've even fought a few of them

Have you ever been to world trade center?
going next week.

What is your favorite magazine?
Capes and Cowls Quarterly

How many times have you gone to a foreign country?
Like... A THOUSAND!

When will you next go on a plane?
who knows, tonight

When did you last go on a plane?
The night before last

Do you watch football sundays?
wtf? no.

What are your thoughts on Disney Channel?
dont know dont care.

Do you like Techno?
no.

Do you like Dr.Phil?
hes one of those people youd like to punch in the face immediately after meeting him im sure.

Do you like Oprah?
She tried to say all of the Joker's problems were caused by his parents and that he just needed to be hugged

Do you ever want to get married?
No. It would ruin the mission

What is your favorite country?
They're all the same

Do you like animals?
BAts

Do you have an ipod?
like 10

Do you watch TV alot?
No

Are you afraid of the dark?
I'm the dark.

Another no post day

Today has been utter crap so I'm not posting anything. Instead I'll leave you with this video of Batman singing Am I Blue.

No Sushi For YOU!

I wasn't going to do another Aquaman post today. First of all because,I'm not really a fan (all though I did buy Aquaman Showcase volume 3 today, some maybe that Bob Haney wackiness will change my mind,lol). Second of all I was pretty sure I was all out of things to say about our aquatic friend (not to be confused with our favorite aquatic fiend,lol). but, looking at the popularity of the posts (and my opportunistic nature) I figured what the hell. So, here's another story idea for DC to consider. In this story Aquaman is upset after Japanese fishermen kill his favorite whale and declares war on Japan. He then forms an army of Atlantians and ocean creatures and attacks the tiny island. After the surprise attack the Japanese contact the Justice League hoping that his colleagues can talk Aquaman out of his blood lust for sushi lovers. Superman attempts to talk to Aquaman but, he is beyond reason claiming that Japan was just the first battle after they were defeated he would then move on to other fishing cultures until all those whom consumed his friends are dead. He then yells out "No Red Lobster or Joe's Crab Shack is safe while Arthur Curry lives!" With that Superman goes to Batman, since Batman being Batman has a contingency plan, just in case something like this ever happened. Batman gets on all his bat-scuba gear and hunts down Aquaman. When he finally finds him, Batman ties him up and forces Aquaman to watch as Batman perpares and then cooks up fried calimari for the rest of the Justice League. The story then ends with Aquaman locked up in the back of a JOe's Crab Shack.

Villians week: The Joker

Since, I can't think of anything else for this week. I'm gonna spend this week looking at my 5 favorite villains in comic books. Now, just to be clear this won't be a ranking of these five villains. It's just the ones I really dig, in no particular order. We begin with...

The Joker



What's not to love about the clown prince of crime. He is chaos incarnate, as Denny O'Neil has said on many occasions, The Joker is just as likely to kill you because he doesn't like your shoes as he is to give you $1,000 because he doesn't like your shoes. For the Joker all the rules and laws society has created are just one big joke on the poor saps that buy in to them. For me the best none comic interpretation of this character is Mark Hamill's portrayal of The Joker in Batman: TAS. As, good as Heath Ledger was as The Joker in The Dark Knight. I still hear Mark Hamill's voice when I read a comic with The Joker in it. He is the villain that all the other villains hate. Especially, villains like Darkseid and Lex Luthor. He isn't in it for the money or for power. He's in it for the shear fun of it (in his own deranged way). He has no moral compass or shame or sense of desencey. All he wants out of life is to kill Batman, a few Robins and maybe make a couple bucks along the way. which is the reason why he is such a fun villain. I think he's actually a bit funner when he takes on other heroes in the DCU rather than Batman, especially heroes like Superman.

Snow Ball Fight!

Here in Denver yesterday, there was a pretty bad snowstorm. I honor of that (and the fact that I can't think of anything to write today,lol). I thought I'd post this comic in honor of the Batman theme we here at Monkey knife Fight, have been doing this week. So, without futher ado... I give you...

Batman makes even Adam West a bad ass

So, I can't really blog today. But, I still wanted to keep up the Batman theme. so, here's Batman (as played by Adam West) fighting a shark. Enjoy!

E Pluribus Batman

So,as promised I'm going into the main plot for when Batman is one his own.


Act One

Batman is doing his normal thing beating up the criminals he comees across. Then he starts to see something that is conecting the latest rash of crimes. All the to be honest I think only Batman can see these connections seeing how Gotham City is one of the worst fictional cities, ever.

Act Two

Batman is now certain that these crimes are connected and someone is behind all of this, somewhere in the background pulling all of the strings. So, he goes and beats up his rogues whom are stuck in Arkham Asylum and then goes and beats up the rogues that have escaped/been released looking for answers.

Act Three

He has found out who the puppet master is and is off to F**k His S**T Up.
He does this then villian asks for mercy and Batman cracks off a oneliner and cracks the villian's ribs. He then either tells the villian never to come back to Gotham City or else... or he sends them off for a long vacation up at Arkham. THE END

...and there you have it the majority of stories when Batman is on his own.

Plot Batman (but don't forget the standard deviation)

So, I thought it would be fun to write out the main plot writers have used in Batman for the last 20 years. So, today I thought I'd do the plot to Batman stories involving the Bat-Family and 2moro I'll do the solo Batman plot. So, let's get started.

Act One

Batman has been acting like more of a jerkass than usually and one of his rogue's decides to take adventage of this situation. Which creates the problem that will take the story to it's conclusion.

Act Two

The Bat-Family sees that Batman is in over his head and that he needs their help.
The try to lend him their help and he rebuffs them. So, that help him out without his knowledge.

Act Three

BAtman tells the Bat-Family to mind their one business and stay out of his way. The Bat-Fam tells him he needs their help and he's gonna like it or lump it. So, he grudgingly let's them help.

Act Four

Combining their efforts Batman and the Bat-Fam, capture the villian and restore order and Batman promises he will never treat them as poorly again. THE END

There you have it the plot to every Bat-Family crossover.

What Would Guy Gardner Do?

I'm still not completely done finding everything for the post I promised last week. Hopefully, I'll have everything for it in the next couple of days.
So, whenever I'm in a jam or don't know what decision to make. I remember this phrase: What Would Guy Gardner Do? as soon as I know the answer to this question I usually do the opposite. Not that Guy isn't awesome, but I'm not that good of a fighter and don't really wanna get knocked out. Not that that has ever stopped Guy. Case in point:

However there are those occasions in which What Guy would do is the right answer, like here:

Even though most of the time Guy's answer is the wrong one, every once in awhile he offers the best solution to a problem. Now, if only I could get a wrist band with this question printed on it I would be set,lol.

Faces of Evil: I'm Digging it

Last week I picked up the books I regularly pick up and after some of the Face of Evil issues that were in my regular books. I got to say I'm diggin' 'em. The ones I've read so far are; JSA (Black Adam), Birds of Prey (Calculator),Batman (Catwoman),Robin (Anarky), Booster Gold (Enemy Ace). They're cool books. I really like the structure of having the BAd Guys narrate the books and act as the protagonists. So far, the two I really enjoyed have been the JSA and Booster Gold. Not that I haven't liked the other ones I just dug these two more and I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens in the next issue of JSA. That last page really makes me wonder what is instore for the Marvel Family and the JSA. As for Booster Gold I'm really digging on his lost in time storyline and I'm curious to see where he ends up next issue.
Of course, the big question I've been pondering is what books if any am I going to replace Robin and Bird of Prey with when they end after the next issue. Maybe, I'll start reading Hal's adventures in Green Lantern, which I haven't been reading just 'cuz it's hard to read a GL book that doesn't have Guy in it for me these days. Since, He's the Green Lantern equivalent of a cowbell... And as we all know there is no such thing as too much cowbell.

Jay's Justice League

I thought today I'd share with y'all, who would be in the Justice League if I wrote it and got to choose the team. So, here you go jay's Justice League.

Superman - 'Cuz you kind of have to have him in it to truly be the Justice League.
Batman - What can I say he makes everything 40% cooler.
The Question (Vic Sage) - I thought they used him to great effect in the JLU and ever since then I thought he should be a member.
Booster Gold - Just to make sure there's enough comic relief plus I'd have him mentor Jaime.
Blue Beetle (Jaime Reyes) - I was never a big fan of the Teen Titans and besides that I always thought it was more of a team for sidekicks. Plus I think it would hilarious to have Booster working as his mentor.
Guy Gardner - He should be on every team in the DCU as far as I'm concerned. Plus I think his interactions with Superman would be worth the price of admission. Of course, you also have to have a Green Lantern on the team, so....
Mr. Miracle - He makes a great dues ex machina.
Big Barda - She's Scott's wife so if you're gonna have him on the team you pretty much have to have her on it and plus She is just plain awesome.
Zatanna - You need a magician on the time and no one looks better in fishnets and a top hat than Zatanna does.
Stargirl - Every team needs a bubbly teenager. For me she'd basically fill in Jubilee's role in the X-Men (plus it would be fun doing jokes about her cosmic rod and Barda's mega-rod,lol)
Oracle - Someone has to do monitor duty while everyone else is fighting off the hordes of Apokolips and I personally feel she is the smartest person in the DCU and you can never have too many smart people on a team (unless it's the Avengers, since most of their smart people are really crazy as well). Plus she's great at tactical support.
Nightwing - Mainly because I still dig the Superfriends. Also, it would give him more time to hang out with Babs.
Wildcat - Just to have as a drill sergeant. Every team needs a drill sergeant.
The Flash (Wally West) - Every Justice League needs a Flash and since he's the one I'm most familiar with....

Well, there you have it. My Awesome Justice League team of awesomeness. I decided to go with a team of 14 member because that seems to be the perfect size for a Justice League team.
Agree/Disagree?

Next on the Tonight Show a man who can shoot webs and crawl up walls

Well, I was gonna try to come up with something that didn't include any references to Mr. Miracle today. I'm a bit scared I may become that guy that only blogs about Mr. Miracle and although he is one of my favorite characters I don't want to become pigeonhold by him either. But, I just couldn't resist talking about how of all the comic characters out there the two (at least in my mind) that have the best logic when it comes to their garish costumes are Scott Free and Peter Parker. In Scott's case he got his costume and superhero identity from the original Mr. Miracle who was an escape artist and as such it made sense he would wear such an outragous looking outfit and the same goes for Spidey. In case you don't remember Speider-Man's reason for creating his costume was so he would look cool on TV. Maybe it just me but I buy the idea alot more of people originally coming up with their fanastically splendid costumes. Just so they could look good while performing for an audience than some one like Batman (also a big fav of mine) whom decided that he could strike fear into the hearts of criminals if he outfitted all his toys and accessories with a bat motif and putting bat ears on his cowl. Of course, Batman and Mr. Miracle both abide from the first rule of superhero costumes "capes kick ass". I guess I just like the idea that both Mr. Miracle and Spider-Man started out as performers before they became heroes. To me that's a bit more interesting than the run of the mill, "well, today I got splashed with toxic waste and it gave me superpowers. So, I'm going to become a crime fighter or I have superpowers because I come from a different planet, do you have any bank robbers I can beat up? Well, that's my 2 cents on superheroes and their costumes. Feel free to disagree.

Jay Casts the Justice League International Movie

Since this is my favorite version of the Justice League. I thought it would be fun to share with my readers (all two of you) who I would pick to play these characters.
Batman ~ Christian Bale. This is a no brainer.
Blue Beetle ~ Ryan Reynolds, he would be perfect as the wisecracking Ted Kord.
Martian Manhunter ~ Kieth David, he has the perfect voice to pull off what would essentually be a CGI character.
Booster Gold ~ Neil Patrick Harris, he's pretty much playing this character already on How I Met Your Mother (minus the super powers, of course).
Fire ~ Paz Vega, This one is kinda hard 'cuz I don't know how she would look with Fire's green hair. Other than that though, I think this would be a good fit.
Ice ~ Kristen Bell, She has both the innocent look and inner strength that are the hardest pieces of Ice to play.
Mr. Miracle ~ Steve Carell, after his turn as Maxwell Smart. I think he would be perfect as the world's greatest excape artist.
Big Barda ~ Lucy Lawless. How could you go with anyone but Xena, to play Barda.
Captian Atom ~ George Eads, He already did a great job of playing him on the JLU cartoon and since the character would most like be CGI it wouldn't be that much of a change.
Rocket Red ~ Daniel London, He seemed pretty good at being clueless and faking a russian accent in Big Trouble and those are the main ingredients to play this character. so...
Guy Gardner ~ Scott Caan, okay I had to change this one because like I said he's the hardest one to cast. But, thinking it over I think he'd make a much better Guy than Jason Bateman.
Maxwell Lord ~ Thomas Gibson, He could play this part in his sleep.well, there you go.
My choices for the people to be in the Justice League International movie.

Conspiracy Theory

Something that always weirded me out in comics is that both Bruce Wayne's and Clark Kent's moms are named Martha and I think I have finally solved the problem with this. Here it is Martha was living a double life in the country married to Jonathan Kent and the other living in the city, but not just any city Gotham City as Thomas Wayne's wife. After years of living this double life Martha could no longer take it and decide the only way she could leave Thomas and their son was fake her own death. Well, she hired a man named Joe Chill to do this but, knowning how the Waynes were he decided that he would make a little extra money on the job by killing and robbing Thomas Wayne (when he was supposed to just fire blanks at Martha). He then carried out this gruesome task and after her friend in the morgue, pronounced her dead and let her go. Martha went back to Smallville and acted like nothing had every happened. Leaving poor Bruce Wayne an orphan while she helped to shape Clark Kent's value system never telling him about her horrible secret.