You already know who would win

It's the end of the week and before I go leave here for the next couple of days. I thought I'd leave you with something fun. So, this week I bring you another comic book match up.And who, you ask are the contestants... Gleek the space chimp Vs. Howard the Duck.



Clearly, Howard would completely own gleek in this fight. No contest. I just like the idea of an alien duck beating on a space chimp. Seeing how rear it is that ducks beat up chimps on this planet. So, there you have it. Another bit of fun to hold you over until next week,lol.

Fun with search engines

So, I've had this blog going for just about a month and I thought it would be fun to pick out the five weirdest search engine terms to bring people to Monkey Knife Fight.
So, without further ado... Here they are:

Monkey Bowling Shirt - I've been wondering were they looking for a bowling shirt with a monkey on it, or were they looking for a bowling shirt for a monkey. Either way I think it's pretty cool,lol.

Kirk Knife Fight Video - This could be pretty cool to find as well.Especially,if it was Shatner going after Takei in an outtake for stepping on his lines or something like that. Even better if they where looking for a video of KIRK Cameron in a knife fight.

The Fightgeek Girl - What is a fightgeek. Is that someone whom fights chickens and then bites their heads off? Do they go for bigger animals?

Drill Monkey Fights - Is this a monkey fight using power drills instead of knifes 'cuz if so...That would be awesome,lol.

Cartoons of a Monkey Knife Fight - Totally awesome!

Well, there's the list. I hope you enjoyed it as much as me,lol.

Guy Loves Ice

So, I was thinking about comics as I'm wont to do and I thought up what I think is a pretty good idea for a comic and that idea is... Guy Loves Ice, starring everyone's favorite Green Lantern...

Guy Gardner

and his sweetheart...

Ice

If I was writing it and I should be because it's my idea,damn it. I would make it about the trials and tribulations of trying to maintain a successful relationship, while being a intergalactic cop dating a superhero and all the complications that brings like your partner dying and being resurrected. For the most part the book would focus on the drama and comedy of modern relationships. With an occasional appearance of a sociopath bent on world or galactic conquest and it would take place in between the stories of the Green Lantern Corp. Mainly it would focus on Guy trying to be the best man he can be for his mate, and while he may slip and fail occasionally, most stories would end with him putting his arms around Tora looking deep into her eyes and saying " Baby, you're the greatest." before kissing her on the mouth. I image this book to be a cross between The Honeymooners (one of the best TV shows ever),Mary Jane loves Spiderman and, Justice League International, with a little dash of Nick and Nora Charles thrown in for good measure.
Well, there's my comic book idea. If you want to contact me Mr. DiDio,I will be waiting by the phone with eyes closed and fingers crossed.

Vs.

i was going to write a thrill fight between Aquaman and Namor: The Sub-mariner. But, then it donned on me that I'm not much of a fan of either one and as such I would be very good at calling a winner. After all most of my knowledge of Aquaman's powers come from the cartoons (well, that and Siskoid) and Namor with Namor all I really know is that he digs human women that are already married or atlest with a steady boyfriend. As far as I know there's not much of a difference in power levels between the two and that Aquaman can talk to the fishes. So, my prediction is that if Namor and Aquaman were to battle, no matter who one. The clear loser is DIGNITY.

Love in the time of power rings

Lately,I've been re-reading the GLC trades and it got me thinking about the recent issues and the budding relationship between Kyle and Soranik and also the relationship between Guy and Ice. One of the things I find interesting about these two pairings is that both Kyle and Guy seem to be the more emotional of each couple. With Kyle and Soranik she has said that she has walled herself off from others, while Kyle has a hard time not being in a relationship. Whereas, with Guy and Ice, Guy is quite prone to emotional outbursts, while Ice is the much more sensible one. Like in Issue 20 when he floats down to her in Times Square and while she is trying to explain how she needs some time he gets riled up to the point that he is nearly screaming at her about how much he loves her and how hard her death was on him. I think that's the reason they are such good friends is also because of this, I think it also explains why they aren't as close with Hal or John as they are with each other. Probably also the reason Hal also seems annoyed at Guy when they are hanging out even before Guy does something to get Hal's goat.

Harley Quinn

I can't think of anything today. So, here's a music video of Mindless's song respect starring Harley Quinn... Enjoy =D

Who would win?

Going with that time honored tradition of matching up characters from different universe today I thought it would be fun to throw one out there that probably no one has thought about doing, so here you: Who would win in a fight,Mr. Miracle, Beast or, Gregory House,MD?

Scott Free AKA Mr. Miracle


He has the ability to escape from in trap or situation that places him in peril. Besides this ability he is also armed with a pair of flying discs, a mother box (heh,heh)and jets in his belt and on the bottom of his boots.

Dr. Hank McCoy AKA Beast


Beast is a mutant born with a super genius intellect, superhuman strength, speed, reflexes, agility, flexibility, dexterity, coordination, balance, and endurance.

Dr. Gregory House AKA That prick House


House, has the ability diagnose strange and rare illnesses and cure them within a single episode, he also has heightened sarcasm, and the ability to point out the flaws in the personalities and thoughts of others. His main weapons are sarcasm and his cane.

So now we get to the fight!

At a medical confrence Dr. Hank McCoy is speaking about the mutant gene and its effect on human populations and the societial problems that have arisen because of it. In the middle of his speach Dr. House (from the audience) calls out bullshit. He then goes on a huge spiel about how the mutant gene is complete crap and that the AMA should revoke Dr. McCoy's credentials for even suggesting such nonsense. This infuriates Beast and he leaps at House from the stage when he lands in front of Dr. House, Greg House calls his a moron and hits him with his cane. This makes Beast backhand him into another room and leap towards that room. Well, in that other room is Mr. Miracle giving the keynote speech at a convenetion of illusionists and escape artists. He pauses mid sentance as Dr. House flies through the wall folled by Dr. McCoy Swing into the room. McCoy lands on House, and House then informs the good doctor about the significance of the areas of matted fur on Beast, this enrages him and Beast rips off Gregory House's bum leg and begins beating him with it. Mr. Miracle Tries to intervine and the Beast begins to hit him with doctor House's bum leg. House, tosses his cane at Scott and downs a bottle of vicadin. Mr. Miracle grabs the cane and stabs Hank in the eye with it he then takes out Beast's knees and grabs out a pair of Apokolipsian restaints and binds Beasts arms with then. After that he goes to return Dr. House cane. House then makes fun of the color scheme of Scott Free's costume and Mr. Miracle whacks House upside the head with his own cane kn ocking him out. I think this shows that Mr. Miracle would be the winner of this fight. House and Beast would be way to distracted by the other and would not be able to defeat Scott Free (at least in my opinion)

In the brightest day...

Ya know, Thinking about all the cool weapons in comics,I gotta say I think the coolest one to have would be a GL power ring. Sure, adamantium claws would be pretty groovy for somethings as would Cap's vibranium shield. Batman has some neat gadgets to but, all in all I gotta say the coolest of them all is the ring bestowed on those with the ability to overcome great fear by the Guardians of the Galaxy. Of course, I could see myself becoming pretty lazy if I did have one of those rings. I mean I would use it for everything. cleaning the house, grabbing the TV remote, turning off my alarm, everything. Not only that but, I would sell my car and fly everywhere, even the corner store. heck if my ceiling had a higher clearance I would fly to the bathroom using it. Heck I'd even use it as my furniture and sell off all of mine.

Fading Glory

Today I thought I'd harsh every one's mellow and add my two cents to the biggest problem affecting the comic book industry today. Namely, readership. Stroytellingwise this maybe a golden age for comics. But, according to sales this may be one of the lowest points in comics. From my own observations the main reason that comics seem unable to add new readers in any significant way are twofold. the first one is distribution because of how the direct market mainly sells comics only to comic book retails unless you know where a comic book shop is you really can't get into reading comics. Now this wouldn't be that big of a problem if there were comic book shops in most neighborhoods, however this is not the case. Personally, since Free Time Comics (in Westminster) closed down and the Mile High Comics(in Thornton) moved, it has been quite hard for me to get my weekly comic book fix and that's without adding in the money woes that have been effecting everything as of late. At school (as I know for my comic book knowledge)I have been asked on quite a few occasion from classmates who really dig the movies based on our four color heroes. These folks regularly say to my that they dig the movies but don't know where to go to find comic books. Of course, when they do I give them the locations of several good comic book shops,and as far as I can tell they rearly go, part of the reason I feel is how intimidating walking into a comic shop could be if you are not already into them.
Which brings us to the other problem of pulling in new readers. Which is mainly editorially mandated strangeness and stories based on dense continuity. Stories like; Civil War and Final Crisis. though stories like these sell big with regular readers they do nothing to bring in new readers. Herein lies the problem. How do you generate bigger sales without adding readers? The quick answer is what the big two have been doing, you play to the base. Of course, the problem with this is that this strategy only works as long as there is a base. Part of the problem is also the variation between the books and the movies. Not to say the comics and movies should have the same continuity but, I could see how it is hard to reconcile the two when someone whom wants to read Spider man comics because they really dig the movie and after finding a comic book shop they get a new issue of Amazing Spider-man and there is no MJ even worse is their expected reaction when they ask someone they know who is into comics why there's no MJ in the book and you a forced to tell them about Brand New Day and it's satanic divorce. I'm sure it hasn't helped when I've been asked about it that the first thing out of my mouth is... UGH! Just like in politics, if you want to be successful in entertainment. You can't simple play to the base. If for no other reason, a base that is not adding anybody new is that humans are mortal and as such if you never adding one new your movement or business will only decline.

What Would Guy Gardner Do?

I'm still not completely done finding everything for the post I promised last week. Hopefully, I'll have everything for it in the next couple of days.
So, whenever I'm in a jam or don't know what decision to make. I remember this phrase: What Would Guy Gardner Do? as soon as I know the answer to this question I usually do the opposite. Not that Guy isn't awesome, but I'm not that good of a fighter and don't really wanna get knocked out. Not that that has ever stopped Guy. Case in point:

However there are those occasions in which What Guy would do is the right answer, like here:

Even though most of the time Guy's answer is the wrong one, every once in awhile he offers the best solution to a problem. Now, if only I could get a wrist band with this question printed on it I would be set,lol.

The Best Marriage in comics

In honor of Valentine's Day, I figured today I'd write about the coolest, best marriage in comics. No, I don't mean Peter and MJ before their satanic divorce. I'm talking about Scott and Barda Free.



Right off there's the fact that these two met and feel in love ON APOKOLIPS. If there was ever a place least conducive to folks falling in love this would be the place. Scott first caught Barda's through his fight to escape from the control of Darksied and Granny Goodness and showing her that you didn't have to except things how they were, that you can fight and maybe even triumph over a repressive world.
After they escapes from Apoklips, Barda then searched and found Scott. Becoming one of the stars of his act. Then after they married they tried to settle into a nice suburban life style but adventure kept calling out to Mr.Miracle and Big Barda.
One of the things I've always dug about this couple is that Barda could go blow for blow, punch for punch with Superman and neither she or Scott care about this. He doesn't care that she's the stronger one of the pair (at least physically) and she doesn't care that he doesn't have the strength to pick up a tank, like she does. In all the books I've read about these to this is a complete non-issue. Plus, you gotta dig a tough girl that like her bunny slippers. These two care more about each other than life itself and it shows. Sure, Scott teases her about her awful cooking and she'd prefer Scott to just settle down into a job as an insurance agent or some other job that doesn't lend itself quite as much to globe trotting adventures. But, they except each other completely. Even their bickering seems to be done out of love for each other. So, hopefully this Valentine's Day those of you out there who have somebody have found someone like these two to sure in your triumphs and missteps and hopefully one of these days those of us out there still looking for that person will find our one Barda or Scott as the case may be.



Happy Valentine's Day everyone and I hope you enjoy your weekend =D

Where no GL has gone before

I've been reading silver age Green Lantern issues lately and a thought occurred to me. Whether, by design or just coincidence (on the part of Star Trek writers) James Kirk is really similar in design to Hal Jordan. Mostly likely this is just because in the late fifties early sixties this archetype was what writers thought was what a man was supposed to be. Like Kirk Hal had a long string of romantic partners during that time, they both were men of action who depended on aliens (Spock the guardians) to step in when they were acting to emotional. In fact couldn't you see William Shatner circa 1964 playing the perfect Emerald Gladiator in a movie of TV show. I think back then Shatner would have made the perfect Hal Jordan.





Am I right? or am I right?

I can't think of nothin'

Well, that's not exactly true. But, I'm having a hard time locating images for the post I wanted to do for today. Hopefully, I can find them for tomorrow's post and if not I guess you'll just have to wait until next week to find out what it was going to be,lol.
Since, I can't think of any thing better enjoy this video of Zatanna =D Enjoy!

Back at the Hall of Justice

So, a few days ago I did a post on my love of the show Spiderman and his Amazing Friends. In that post I hinted a little bit about how I don't feel Superfriends holds up as well as Spidey and his amazing Friends does. After writing that post I decided that in all fairness I should probably go back and watch some episodes of Superfriends to make sure I wasn't just talking out of my ass (not that that has ever stopped me, but still). So, as of late I've been watching episodes of Superfriends courtesy of youtube and I think I now know the reason the show hasn't aged as well as others like G.I. Joe or SahAF. The reason for this besides the fact that its target audience seemed to be a bit younger than the other shows I've mentioned. Its that the characters on Superfriends (besides Wonder Woman, simple because she was cast as the girl) all have pretty interchangeable personalities. Now this could be partially due to the fact that when the Justice League started up in the sixties the characters personalities weren't really distinct in any real way and that that was probably a hold over that became part of the show. This changed a little bit in the later seasons when they add folks like Firestorm. But, even then the main characters were pretty interchangeable except for their power sets. Without looking at the screen it's kind of hard to tell the difference between GL or, Superman or, the Flash, etc. just from their dialogue. I think had the creators of the show tried a bit harder to differentiate between characters the show would have stormed the whithers of time better than it has. Maybe, this should be a lesson for those whom wish to do cartoons today and in the future. Just a thought.

Charles Xavier: wanted for Child endangerment

As we all are prone to do I sometimes wonder about the changes in our laws and society that would take place if our favorite superheroes were real. Today, I find myself thinking about Prof. Xavier and his school of higher learning. In particular, would the Xavier's School for Higher Learning be able to afford the insurance premiums that would come from having the school destroyed on a regular basis. Also, would Charles Xavier face any child endangerment charges after the Juggernaut or Saber tooth or any of the other the x-Men's rogues attacked the school for the umpteenth time or better yet would the school be able to retain accreditation because of all these problems. Another problem would be permission slips would it be a wise idea to send a slip to the children's parents that went something like this:

Dear Parent(s),
Next week we will be taking a field trip to the Shi'ar Empire in order to take this trip we will be living the solar system. If you wish for your child to participate in this excursion please sign below.

Sincerely,
Charles Xavier
Head Master

How many parents do you think would sign a form like this? How many would object?
Well, this are the types of things I wonder about when I'm in class and I should be paying attention to the course work.

Remembering when you couldn't wait to wake up on Saturday

Whenever I remember to watch it I tune in for Spiderman and his Amazing Friends. I don't really know why but even today I still dig that show. As cheezy as it is I think it is one of the better superhero cartoons from back in my preschool days. For those of you who don't know about this show it was made back in the early eighties and Starred Spiderman, Iceman (of X-Men fame) and Firestar (a girl they created for the show) and of course, the star of the show Ms. Lion.

Personally, I think this show stands up to the test of time way better than Superfriends and a lot better than Pryde of the X-Men. What were they thinking making Wolverine Australian. Isn't it bad enough that he's Canadian,I kid, I kid. I my a big fan of Canada. They created hockey and make good beer (like Black Label) How could you hate that? Anywho back to Spidey. This show rocks here take a loook at this clip.

Now that's entertainment. In fact in my dedication to this show, I not only bought the issue of Spiderman Family that feature this fantastic trio. I bout three of them and used two of them to redecorate my table. I think this show just goes to that part of my brain that still dig fun comics and the idea that Jubilee is cool because of not inspite of her fireworks. Well, that's all I've got. See you on monday and have a fun weekend. I know I will if nothing else I'll be watching cartoons and remembering just how cool this show is :)

Faces of Evil: I'm Digging it

Last week I picked up the books I regularly pick up and after some of the Face of Evil issues that were in my regular books. I got to say I'm diggin' 'em. The ones I've read so far are; JSA (Black Adam), Birds of Prey (Calculator),Batman (Catwoman),Robin (Anarky), Booster Gold (Enemy Ace). They're cool books. I really like the structure of having the BAd Guys narrate the books and act as the protagonists. So far, the two I really enjoyed have been the JSA and Booster Gold. Not that I haven't liked the other ones I just dug these two more and I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens in the next issue of JSA. That last page really makes me wonder what is instore for the Marvel Family and the JSA. As for Booster Gold I'm really digging on his lost in time storyline and I'm curious to see where he ends up next issue.
Of course, the big question I've been pondering is what books if any am I going to replace Robin and Bird of Prey with when they end after the next issue. Maybe, I'll start reading Hal's adventures in Green Lantern, which I haven't been reading just 'cuz it's hard to read a GL book that doesn't have Guy in it for me these days. Since, He's the Green Lantern equivalent of a cowbell... And as we all know there is no such thing as too much cowbell.

Guy Gardner: The Brave and The Bold

Okay admittedly I'm abit biased when it comes to the GLC. But, even so I have actually been enjoying the last few week of Batman: the Brave and the Bold. At first I was prejudiced and thought it would never be even close to as good as the DCAU stuff Paul Dini and Bruce Timm did. Now I may have to retink that since this weeks episode looks... Swwwweeeeeeet!
But, don't just take my word for it, check out this clip I got from CBR.



Now tell me that doesn't look like this weeks episode is going to be at least three shades of awesomeness.

Thought on the Final, Final (for now) Crisis

Hmmm... I don't really have a post for today. So, I thought I would do some rambling on the whole Final Crisis fiasco. First off, I haven't read Final Crisis. Becuase I'm against buying crossover books. So, all of this comes from secondhand knowledge. But, from what I've heard and seen about the book on other blogs. It sounded pretty lame from the beginning. I should also mention as I wrote here: http://jaysbadfuse.blogspot.com/2009/01/i-dont-care-if-its-literature-i-just.html I'm not a big fan of Grant Morrison. Anyways, I think the biggest problem with books like this one is the whole Earth Shattering Event Thing. For one these things usually after a couple of years make your head hurt trying to explain the continuity of it all. Then there is the problem of getting new people into comics which is very hard to do when you have to give lectures on Earth - 1 and Earth - 2 Superman and who Superman Prime is and all the other useless junk about continuity that even hardcore fans shrug their shoulders at. The problem with "events" like this one is they do absolutely nothing to engage potential new readers, heck they don't even do that good of a job at engaging long term fans like myself. The biggest problem in the comic book industry these days is that they aren't adding many new readers. Of course, one of the reasons for this is making continuity dense works like Final Crisis where in order just to know who all the characters are you have to have been reading comics for the last 10 or 20 years. Well, that's my 2 cents anyways.

Jay's X-Men Team

On Friday I listed what I think would be the best Justice League team ever. So, to start off the week I thought it would be a hoot to list off the best X-Men team. Plus I didn't want it to seem like I only read DC since I have been doing a lot of posts on the Distinguished Competition. So, without further adieu. Here's my X-Men team:

Multiple Man (Jamie Madrox) ~ Besides the fact that he can be his own task force. The last couple of years of X-Factor has shown him grow as a leader and I think he would rock leading the X-Men.
Nightcrawler ~ You really can't have a proper X-Men team without him plus with his teleportation powers he can always get you out of a plot quickly.
Wolverine~ Again it's not really an X-Men team without him.
Colossus ~ Since, you need a heavy hitter and there is no heavier hitter than the mighty Colossus he's on the team.
Wolfsbane (Rahne Sinclair) ~ I always thought she was the New Mutant most deserving of a spot on the team. So, I'm drafting her.
Jubilee ~ Pure nepotism. I love Jubes and it's my team so there :P
Rogue ~ Just because it would be so cool I would give her back Ms. Marvel's powers so she can fly and punch tanks.
Gambit ~ Since, Rogue's on the team he kind of has to be there. Plus a guy that makes things explode is always cool.
Iceman ~ Just for the old school factor and the fact that I'm a big fan of Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends.
Beast ~ 'Cuz brainy scientist guy is a must on any team.
Siryn ~ Since I need another flyer and her dad hasn't been brought back to life,yet. She's on the team. Also, I'm a big fan of all the drama that comes from her and Jamie's past and present,lol.

Well, there you go that's my X-tremely Awesome X-team (sorry, I just couldn't help using a pun that made the books what they are today,lol).